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Thursday, June 7, 2012

Relationship Advice from an Accomplished Laymen


Yes, that title can be taken in multiple senses. But I'm not really all that accomplished, nor am I "good" at giving relationship advice.

My last foray into that topic was met with abysmal failure. I said something about how having sex if you wanted to have sex was okay and that men wanting to have sex isn't something to be upset about. Wouldn't ya know? Most of the women accused me of lying, attempting to manipulate them into having... casual sex. With who? I'm not sure -- there were too many mouth foaming ad hominems to tell.

It actually got to the point that some women went as far as to explode in a hilarious sexist pool of ignorance, shoveling everything from misandric shit about men being subhuman to accusing me of being a rapist because I had *gasp* a one-night stand!

It was the kind of ignorant drama that reminds me why people in cyberspace need to be vetted before being granted any credence.

But I digress, I recently received some notification that more rantings were put up on the original post in question by another sandy-cunt commenter who apparently seems to think I am a lonely, unsexed, and unhappy person. (I should introduce her to my girlfriend and our wonderful relationship!) But that wasn't even the most hilarious and insane bit. Let me quote just one small piece:
Well I think @Zek J Evets is lying, men sleep with prostitutes, sometimes with child prostitutes, they KNOW they are being exploited, even adult prostitutes are, and they DO NOT CARE. Casual sex its ALWAYS using ONE of the partners, in hetero as well as in gay sex. Usually the man uses the woman in hetero sex as they woman might give herself up so the man dont leave. I say its better to be alone. TRUE LOVE WAITS !!! I want to make sure someone loves me before being intimate, thats very reasonable for the heart, the man who cant wait, cant love, and if he cant love, I want NOTHING to 2 with him !!
Hahahahahah! Oh man, somebody get this chick on Maury, please! First of all, this isn't Twitter, so lose the "@" symbol, okay sweetheart? Secondly, I'm confused as to how casual sex between consenting adults is equivalent to prostitution? Also, who the fuck said anything about child prostitution? Oh yeah, the crazy b!tch... I'm wondering if she's trying to tell us something?


Yes, she apparently is! Something about how casual sex is bad (okay, then don't have any!) and that "true love waits" for those who... type like a 16 year-old Christian fundamentalist with a promise ring and apparently don't have any reading comprehension. (If she did I'm sure she would've noticed the part about how casual and/or intimate consensual sex is not the same as prostitution, especially child prostitution.) But I'm obliged to know that even when I'm not around to defend myself from slander I can still make people think. Even when thinking really pisses them off.

Now a Tangent! Yeah I can't go back to the blog where I originally posted that article. See, the bloggess there is something of... well, a creep and a liar. Apparently she was stalking some guy online, who dumped her after her getting fed-up with her drama, and then she started harassing him and his new, real-life girlfriend. Eventually she got bored though and then started inventing boyfriends that she would get waaaaaay too serious with way too quickly. (Moving next door to each other from across the country after a few weeks of dating? Might as well move-in and get married after the 1st date!)

But that wasn't the reason why I stopped blogging there. See my guest-post became the post-popular post on that blog. It is still is, actually, which is kinda funny. I mean, it's someone else's blog and yet my post is the most popular post? Go figure.

After this happened I suffered constant personal attacks but wasn't allowed to respond in kind. The bloggess, despite her promises to the contrary, refused to remove them in the interest of civil discussion. So I leapt to my own justifiable defense... only to be smacked down by the person who asked me to write the damn article in the first place. Crazy, huh? Go figure!

I started dialing back my participation. Following more sexism, controversy, and ultimately a big fight in which she said some incredibly offensive things. I called her out on the hypocrisy based on my knowledge of her personal life. She cried foul and many of her more... reactionary commenters took to her defense in order to peddle more ignorance. At that point I realized that her forum was no longer a healthy environment to have serious, rational discussions in.

So I walked away. It was bittersweet though; I originally had a good relationship with the bloggess and her blog used to be a great place to talk about issues without any drama. Sadly, her own bitterness burned that potential to the fucking ground. Nowadays she's just kicking the ashes around.

But what did I learn through that experience? That giving relationship advice, considering my experiences, my no-nonsense approach, my honesty, my failures, and my subsequent success in finding the most amazing (and only) woman I'll ever love... I guess it just ain't pathetic enough for those bitter women. They're not interested in real talk or real love; they just want to bitch and moan.

Well, so it goes, right? Meanwhile, I'll keep being happy with what I've got.



Cheers

6 footnotes:

Zek J. Evets said...

P.S.

Dear anonymous commenters,

Learn to read. That is all.

Alee said...

Really, Zek? Really, this is what you have to say about me?

Well, I have to say I'm shocked. Truly, and hurt. You believe lies from someone else instead of the truth that I've always given you. Your informant's info about me was created to turn you against me, and well, it worked.

If you have issues with me, I'd really appreciate it if you'd address it with me instead of making posts about me. I find this behavior just so immature and unlike you, but maybe I just didn't know you that well.

But I'll have you know that I never, EVER was unfair to you. When others trashed you, sure, I heard them out. I told them when they were right on but I also told them when they were off-base and whatever your behavior you were at heart a good person.

Now I don't know what's going on because I haven't been on the internet as often as I used to be but it pains me just so much to see this. You'd rather believe my devoted yet utterly crazy stalker that I'm actually the crazy stalker. Wow. Today is a bad day, a really bad. This is just painful. Now I have to live with this, in addition to that whole situation that I'd hoped was behind me.

If you'd like your post removed then let me know. At this point I'm not sure if I want to keep it up, as I'm just really too hurt.

Zek J. Evets said...

Alee,

Oh, you're hurt, really? Well ain't that funny, since you just admitted in your comment to being okay with people saying hurtful, sexist, anti-Semitic, and downright awful things about me on your blog. I believe I was at one point compared to a rapist, a child rapist, a liar, a wolf, a rat, an insect, and manipulator attempting to trick women into having sex. With who? I still don't know.

When others trashed you, sure, I heard them out. I told them when they were right on...

And you never told them to stop. You told me to stop; you certainly held me to a higher standard. And that would've been fine, if you'd been consistent with everyone else. But you weren't. And since I wasn't allowed to defend myself, I'm calling bullshit on that.

Oh, and any subsequent attempts to talk out of both sides of your mouth by saying anything about your positive perceptions of me is also bullshit when you allowed everything noted above.

Frankly though, I'm not surprised. You've lied about yourself (in ways which I will, politely, not repeat in an open comments-section because I'm not a hypocrite) and you've acted inappropriately numerous times in different forums.

But for me, it was finding out that you're still co-signing this kinda stuff. That sucks, especially considering you've touted your blog as a drama-free environment. Finding out you're STILL allowing people to post those kinds of ugly comments about me which lead trolls coming to MY blog with their nastiness. Yeah, it bothers me.

So, please, play the victim. Make it about yourself. Because that's REALLY going to convince me you're sincere about... anything. Actually, it just further confirms my long-held suspicions which I kept to myself because you always acted right until this point.

Meanwhile, back in reality, this post ISN'T about you. It's about me, my life, and stuff that happens to me. You, your blog, are incidental to that story. So stop being a dramatic attention whore, because I have zero sympathy for your fake-ass tears after your behavior.

Alee said...

Let me make this perfectly clear: you don't know anything that anyone else online isn't privy to. Ridiculous. Whatever you think you know about me is false and what you wrote about me here is false. But if you're hurt and want to believe any and everything untrue about me, then fine. At this point I'm over discussing this. After this comment you and everyone associated with you can go your way, and I will go my way, civilly.

I think I clearly told everyone on that post that name-calling was not allowed, not just you. And I spoke through email with the major players in that thread saying the same thing. I've said numerous times I don't delete comments haphazardly and allow all comments as long as they are about the post. If I were to delete their comments, yours would have been deleted as well, as it wasn't like you didn't call them names and become hostile almost immediately. Yet all of you say the same thing -- I allowed the other side to "abuse" them and played favorites. You all are both completely off-base.

Some of the comments disagreed with you, so what? I'm not going to not publish them for that reason. I publish comments that trash my posts all the time. It's the nature of blogging, you might need tough skin. However, I know what I know and I know that I've been more than fair to you. Comments calling you names I never published after what happened on your guest post. And comments discussing your personal life I NEVER published.

In fact, it was one such comment which led me to this post. I didn't even know this post existed, but someone who claimed to know you in real life left a comment regarding an incident that happened between you two and claiming X, Y, and Z undesirable traits about you and your behavior. I declined to publish that comment because it was obviously crossing the line, but clicked on the link that they left as a "note" and lo and behold this is what I found. Ah-mazing. Effing amazing.

Yes, you know, believe what you want because I won't deal with this any longer. You've shown that your overwhelming, overempowering priority is your own feelings and opinions; everyone else must acquiesce to them. I know that when the chips are down you can't be trusted, so we'll just call this a wrap.

Zek J. Evets said...

Hahaha, oh goodness you're so full of shit I never even truly realized it untill now.

You did delete my comments. Yet you kept up all the ones bashing me, despite being in violation of your commenting policy. Like I said, you kept up comments that were anti-Semitic, misandric, and so incredibly effed-up that I can't believe you can say they were about the post with a straight face. So excuse me (again) while I call BS. If you can't even admit to simple facts which are still viewable on your blog, you're more delusional than I thought.

And I think you're pretty batshit crazy... what with making up a fake relationship with some guy who you only knew online than started stalking him -- only to get kicked to the curb by him and his actual girlfriend, and then have to make up a new fake relationship with a guy from Kansas who doesn't exist! (Not like you describe him.)

Seriously, your egotistical rant is so full of falsities that I shudder to think you're even actually a biologist/chemist. God helps us if you are, but now I rather doubt it. You're probably still just a young thing judging from the naivete about relationships that you regularly employ.

But I digress. I'm not here debating you. I'm here telling you about yourself, because apparently just admitting you fucked-up is something which you're not capable of. Okay, fine. Now I'm choosing to burn this bridge to the mother-fucking ground.

I don't want people like you even remotely connected to my life. So, by all means, get the fuck out. I didn't invite you here; I didn't push any of this on you. I was just going about my business till trolls from YOUR blog came to mine because you're still allowing people to post ignorant & insane rants despite you're patently contradictory commenting policy. Apparently your dramatic victim-complex couldn't take the fact that somebody wrote about how psycho and hypocritical you are.

Well, I hope you got your kicks and digs in, because this is the last comment of yours I will publish. You are hereby banned from my blog -- just like I'm tossing you out of my life.

Goodbye asshole.

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Relationship Advice