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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

If I Were I Would

I've been seeing this little survey making its rounds across the Facebooked interwebs, and I couldn't help but fill it out during one boring afternoon between classes.

Feel free to complete it yourself and post it in the comments section!



If I were a month, I'd be mid-July when the sea-breeze meets a desert wind
If I were a day of the week, I'd Thursdays
If I were a time of day, I'd be the dead-man's hour between two and four AM
If I were a planet, I'd be the sun or the moon
If I were an animal, I'd be a chinchilla

If I were a direction, I'd be left as all hell
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be an old leather reading chair
If I were a liquid, I'd be Mexican Coke
If I were a gemstone, I'd be a blood-red ruby
If I were a tree, I'd be the tallest sequoia along the coastal mountain-range

If I were a tool, I'd be duct-tape
If I were a flower, I'd be the Bakawali flower that only blooms once in a year
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be a sunny-day with white clouds like pillows
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be a rust-stained saxophone
If I were a color, I'd be baby-blue

If I were an emotion, I'd melancholic
If I were a fruit, I'd be just-ripe plums, with a sweet-and-sour taste
If I were a sound, I'd be a susurrus
If I were an element, I'd be water
If I were a car, I'd be a 1969 Camaro ZL1

If I were a food, I'd be sushi
If I were a place, I'd be Chuck-E-Cheese
If I were a material, I'd be poly-cotton fibers
If I were a taste, I'd be orange-juice after brushing your teeth
If I were a scent, I'd be sex-panther manly musk

If I were stripped down to the bare necessities, all I need are three things. One is my beautiful girlfriend, and the others are found here:

11 footnotes:

Gwen said...

i had a chinchilla
but unfortunately he passed away,

be careful, chinchillas are prone to seizures (thats how he died)
but on the bright side, you dont have to take baths..you just roll in dust haha

Zek J Evets said...

oh goodness, haha, no i don't think i want to die from bunches of seizures. maybe i'll pick a new spirit-animal...

Jasmin said...

How about a lamb? ;-)

Zek J Evets said...

@jasmin: ooohh, nooo, haha ; )

Jasper said...

I get it; you're being poetical. But the Sun and the Moon are not planets. Stop this nonsense.

(Also, I did not check if someone said this on Facebook.)

Zek J Evets said...

@jasper: planets = planetary bodies. technically, any large body of matter in space can be a planet.

Jasper said...

@Steve: No.

A planet is a celestial body orbiting a star or stellar remnant that is massive enough to be rounded by its own gravity, is not massive enough to cause thermonuclear fusion, and has cleared its neighbouring region of planetesimals. This rules out "Sun."

And: A natural satellite or moon is a celestial body that orbits a planet or smaller body, which is called the primary. Technically, the term natural satellite could refer to a planet orbiting a star, or a dwarf galaxy orbiting a major galaxy, but it is normally synonymous with moon and used to identify non-artificial satellites of planets, dwarf planets, and minor planets.

So, you fail astronomy forever.

Zek J Evets said...

@jasper: ahem, i must disagree sir, with much vehemence!

wikipedia doesn't count as a source. also, classical astronomy defines a planet as: "a celestial body moving in the sky, as distinguished from a fixed star, applied also to the sun and moon."

the origin of the word is: "planet
late O.E., from O.Fr. planete (Fr. plan├Ęte), from L.L. planeta, from Gk. (asteres) planetai 'wandering (stars),' from planasthai 'to wander,' of unknown origin. So called because they have apparent motion, unlike the 'fixed' stars. Originally including also the moon and sun; modern scientific sense of 'world that orbits a star' is from 1640."

furthermore, astronomy has always included the sun and moon as planets: "One of the seven celestial bodies, Mercury, Venus, the moon, the sun, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn, visible to the naked eye and thought by ancient astronomers to revolve in the heavens about a fixed Earth and among fixed stars."

and as a colloquial approximation, planet is often applied to any object in space which has gravity. this is particularly true in science fiction. for instance, in star wars episode iv, obi-wan, luke, and han solo during their first encounter with the death star, as they are being pulled in by its tractor-beam, all refer to it as a "planet".

so... research? fail. copy/paste? fail. still getting invited to my birthday this summer?

but of course =)

Jasper said...

But do I even still want to come!??!?!?!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!>!?!>?>!>!?!!>1.... sure, I guess.

Anonymous said...

jasper is right

Mira said...

Jasper is right about the planets. Sun and Moon were included as planets in the traditional astronomy (read: pre- XVII century) when it was believed they orbit around the Earth. Astrology still regards them as planets, but modern astronomy doesn't.

So while you can use the word in a "poetic sense" it's incorrect to call Sun or Moon "stars". lol