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Monday, December 21, 2009

Immoveable Object Meets Unstoppable Force



I'm talking, of course, about my Chauvinism meeting the Feminism of a friend over Google instant-chat.

Here's the (edited) transcript:

"... me: but seriously, don't sleep with your roommates, most people tell me they've regrettedit
regretted it*

daisy: i'll keep that in mind
i decided i am going to be smarter about who i sleep with

me: you mean you weren't before?

daisy: like i havent slept with anyone in over 10 months now, so obviously the next person i do sleep with i want it to be somewhat meaningful

me: obviously...
because after ten months, you can't just jump back on the pogo-stick?

[jump to continue -- click header]

daisy: haha i am not even sure if i know what that means...

me: haha, i think you do and want to pretend otherwise...
but no worries

daisy: well i dont like to think of myself as being on a "pogo stick" before

me: maybe a tree-trunk?
depends on how big the guy is i guess
but i think that trying to make who you have sex with more special is a good idea
not sure if that'll work out in this city... my experiences lead me to believe otherwise, but it's a good goal to have

daisy: haha
not that they werent completely unspecial before
but more directionless

me: directionless?

daisy: yeah
like okay we are hooking up even though we already talked about or relationship not going anywhere

me: and when you say "we", you mean "he"

daisy: haha no actually

me: you mean you?
damn... that's cold

daisy: well i mean
when you have a conversation both people are involved
haha

me: yeah
but in those conversations, typically one person wants to keep it casual
and the other wants to make it serious

daisy: haha yeah its usually me

me: aha! so would you say then that you're the reason why sex has been directionless?

daisy: iiii guuueeesssss


me: tsk tsk
somehow i think this newfound pledge of yours isn't going to last then

daisy: WOW
why!

me: no offense, but if you're having sex just for the fun of it, and you're still relatively young, you're not likely to change unless something traumatic happens
which, judging from how you're talking about this, nothing has
besides, do you honestly think if a cute guy took you out, treated you nice, and then asked you to come back to his place you'd say no?

daisy: haha you dont think being without sex for ten months is traumatic?

me: hmm... true!

daisy: haha

me: but not the kind of trauma that makes a slut into a virgin
not that you're a slut
i'm just exaggerating

daisy: no just like observing everyone elses relationships and all of that drama of insecure status and sex
made me really want to avoid that type of stuff

me: well, if you could, define for me what you want then
because i'm curious

daisy: iiii waaaannnt
a really good guy friend
okay i already have really good guy friends
i dont know
i want a relationship that is easy but meaningful still
i dont want to be SO serious

me: but do you want to be exclusive?

daisy: yeah

me: hmm
that might be hard - difficult to find
you can't have easy without the casual
or exclusive without the serious

daisy: easy as in like...

me: comfortable
simple
no drama

daisy: simple no drama
yeah

me: doens't work like that

daisy: haha well i am going to stay positive

me: and so you should!
because you might find that perfect balance
but until then, what do you plan to do? shut yourself away for another ten months?
you'll start getting cobwebs down there
haha

daisy: haha wooowwww
no i went out in sf and like met people

me: i know, i'm just full of compliments tonight

daisy: yeah seriously

me: oh, cool
meeting people sounds good
anyone worth pursuing?

daisy: haha naaaahhh

me: balls 

daisy: i have never been one to pursue someone

me: really?
why not?

daisy: umm i dont always have to

...

me: it must be nice not to have to do much work...
i hate always making the first moves
it gets tiring after a while, especially considering the success rate is like 9-1

daisy: haha

me: seriously!
it's tough being the one to walk up to a total stranger, and for no reason at all start up a conversation and see if it goes anywhere

daisy: haha yeah it can get awkward

me: having to be proactive about your love life is liberating in some ways, but when you see girls just standing at the bar and getting free drinks/compliments/and all sorts of perks
it makes you wish you had your own personal stalker sometimes

daisy: hahaha

me: just SOMEONE to pursue you
y'know?

daisy: okay well think of it like this- most girls spend a lot of time getting ready to deserve those compliments/drinks/perks
so they arent REALLY free

me: ...
wow

daisy: make up is expensive
haha
and so are heels
and dresses

me: wow

daisy: and perfume
and all the things girls think they need to attract guys

me: you do realize a guy would bang you without all that right?

daisy: haha yeah thats happened too

me: a guy would probably like you MORE if you were less made-up
you'd be less intimidating
and if you're so fugly you need the make-up and heels and dresses and [perfume]
then no matter how much you use... you'll still be fugly
and then all you can do is say "fuck it" and find yourself a blind guy
and that is actually advice i got from a tranny

daisy: hahaha

me: but i think you should try pursuing someone for once
if there's something specific you're after, i think going for it instead of waiting for it to come to you would be smarter
especially the strange contradiction you outlined above

daisy: whats the contradiction?

me: exclusive but easy
simple and not serious
meaningful and drama-free

daisy: haha
well if everyone was honest about they want- even if it didnt make sense- maybe things would work out better for most people

me: true
but sometimes honesty only makes people angry

daisy: well i am being honest about what i want- how can those things make someone angry?

me: like, if every guy just admitted upfront that the only reason they walked up to you was because you have very large breasts.., would that make you happy?
or if a girl walked up to a guy and said even though she doesn't know him, by looking at him she thinks he could be "the one" and would he just ignore her acne scars and ask her out on a date?

daisy: wow

me: i'm just saying

daisy: you are harsh man

me: i know
but that's because i'm being honest
i've done enough people-watching to notice these things

daisy: you've done enough people?
haha

me: people-watching...
oy vey

daisy: ooohhh
haha

me: good job reading there

daisy: i thought those were two different thoughts or something
IT WAS DIVIDED PERFECTLY INTO TWO LINES
sorry!

me: don't tell anyone you got into college, okay?

daisy: haha whuutttteevvvaaa
haha

me: mmhmm
haha

daisy: well anyway, obviously being honest is best once some type of relationship has already been established
or like choosing what to be initially honest about

me: ahh, but is that honesty then?
if you choose what to say, you're also choosing what not to say
and waiting till someone's already stuck with you seems a little sneaky for honesty...

...

daisy: I was just trying to think of a way around someone coming up to me saying i am initially attracted to your breasts

me: hahaha
well, i think in a normal situation
that might be possible
but with your breasts, honey
maybe not

daisy: ...

me: (and i haven't even seen them)

daisy: yeah whats wrong with you

me: dunno..."



Cheers

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