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Saturday, October 31, 2009

Trick or Treat or Another Lame Holiday




The classic "I got a rock" scene from Charlie Brown. The ultimate demonstration of Halloween letdowns. Really, this holiday isn't much more than ghouls and ghosts and girls dressed like some version of hookers. (Oh my!)

For me, Halloween equals movie night.

I don't do costumes. I don't do tricks (or treats). And I don't do smashing pumpkins - the band or the semi-rebellious activity. Maybe it's because I'm lazy? Maybe I'm just not interested. Maybe it's because I like people-watching? Maybe I'm just a voyeur. Seriously, I love Halloween, but can't ever really seem to "get in to it" in any meaningful way. Most of the time I just like to ignore the well-dressed people and do my own thing... which in this case involves copious amounts of pseudo-scary movies and snack-food. Sometimes I like to spice it up and go out for a jaunt, pretending I'm in a conceptual costume. An existential crisis version of myself. Being John Malkovich. An alien pretending to be human. (Which would make me a human pretending to be an alien pretending to be human...) Or my personal favorite, as a writer.

Yeaaaaah, I'm kinda lame. Whatever, I know. DBJ (don't be jealous) of my vastly superior skills at bypassing any sort of serious holidaze through the judicious use of what I like to call: Laissez-I-Don't-Care.

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Friday, October 30, 2009

Of Women (This Is My Poetry)



This fancy new Blogger text-editor lets me copy+paste my poems as they appear on the page. It's fucking nifty as all hell, and so I thought I'd share a new piece that I'm still working on. It's supposed to be an assignment for my Independent Studies class, but I doubt it'll impress my professors.

This piece is one of ten that I'm compiling into a short collection, entitled, "Of Women". (Although, I'm thinking I might add a catchier subtitle, since they're all the rage these days.) As you'll be able to tell, the piece is highly misogynistic, chauvinistic, and otherwise angry, sad bastard poetry. Many of the pieces in this small series detail similar perspectives, which derive from my own experiences dealing with women. I like to think of them as so-called "Masculist Poetry", as opposed to your typical Sapphoesque, feminist poetry from Anne Sexton or Sylvia Plath, writing about their fathers and husbands and botched suicide attempts. No, instead I'm writing about heartbreak and love sickness and ruinous affection as it applied to over/under-sexed post-teen male college students.

Hope ya'll enjoy it!

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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Califorthewin



Was browsing through my music-collection when I came upon a slew of Cal-themed songs. It put me in that bragging mood.

Call me biased, but I do so love this great state of ours, the golden place where chill doesn't mean temperature but a way of life.

Things to love about being a Californian:

1. Seasonaless weather
2. The Governator
3. The California Roll (driving maneuver and the sushi)
4. Ambiguous legality of marijuana
5. Our sense of direction is always in relation to where the ocean is
6. Real, fresh Mexican food 24 hours a day
7. High population density of physically attractive women
8. Amusement parks like: Six Flags, Knotts Berry Farm, Disneyland, Sea World, Legoland, Universal Studios
9. Happy Cows

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Transquips

This past Monday was a good day for dialogue.



Have you ever had that happen before? Just everything anybody says comes off really witty and awesome, like it was written beforehand instead of randomly spoken... So many great lines. Sometimes I think my life would be better if someone captured all this on camera and sold it to a television station for the next big reality television show.

Anyhoo, some of the awesome things I heard (or said) today were:

"Are those models?" "Well, they're tall, and skinny, and slutty." "Yeah, but their faces make them look sixteen." "Must be their shoes." "Huh?"

"Look at that one." "Yeah, she's good. Skinny, but curvy in the right places. Great behind." "I think she's... I don't wanna say older, but she looks way better and more mature." "She's more seasoned." "Seasoned?" "Yeah." "What, like steak?"

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Monday, October 26, 2009

Cinematic Revelations




As I was flipping through the movie-queue on Netflix I realized there was an unusually large amount of movies featuring a certain actor. As I investigated this curious frequency, I discovered a hirtherto unknown facet of my filmic palette.

Let me demonstrate with the list of said wicked-awesome movies.

1. Say Anything
2. High Fidelity
3. Grosse Pointe Blank
4. Better Off Dead
5. America's Sweethearts
6. Runaway Jury
7. War, Inc.

Can you guess what they all have in common? The discovery spotlight shines on this awesome actor...

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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Come See Me



Hey guys! So, today I'm doing a little cross-self-promotion here, by informing you of my upcoming show on Sunday the 1st of November.

I'll be playing at the Gestalt Haus, which is unfortunately one of THE MOST hipstery places on the face of San Francisco. Shame upon my house and yet... so it goes.

The line-up is Lizzie Karr, a close personal friend of mine who is an amazing singer-songwriter; Tyler Gordon with his band Coexist, who are pretty frickin sweet; Bob Pierce, who is some guy that I've never met or heard of - but I'm sure he'll be good!; Dan Eagan, the promoter who organized this whole showcase; and of course, myself, your lovely blog-host with the most, Zek J Evets, AKA Steve Tow, AKA Sexy Stevie & His Saxophone, AKA The Jew, AKA Cosmonaut, AKA... ahhh fuck it, just come see the show.

I'll be playing an eclectic mix of Jazz, Blues, Funk, and Middle-Eastern tunes for ya'll, backed by a self-mixed soundtrack of Hip-Hop beats and pianoesque flourishes. Expect to hear my horn scream like a dying hooker in the street at the dead of night as some hobo wields his shanker in the flickering lamp-light. Which is actually supposed to be a good thing, in this case.

No, but seriously, come out and hear some good tunes. The show starts at 7-7:30 (PM). Gestalt Haus is located at 3159 16th St., between Valencia & Guerrero in The Mission. They've got beer and sausage. So, I mean, what else do you need to have an awesome after-Halloween bash?




See ya in the city!

Cheers

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

TBOE




 Been trolling the depths of my blog recently. I reread all the old posts - comments too even - and realized that I needed to do a best-of section. Some of these entries are just too good to stay locked in the bottom of my blogroll.

Here are the links to some of my top blog-posts. I'll be adding more best-of collections as I go along. Enjoy!

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Sickness Unto Death



 Been getting over yet another cold recently, which is why I haven't been updating the blog daily per usual. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but I seem to be getting sick A LOT lately, and it's really interferring with my schedule.

The roomies jokingly say my immune system must be malfunctioning from AIDS. Personally, I blame other people. I never used to get sick - maybe once a year, if that - but if I hang around someone with the slightest cough or sniffle, I know the next morning my own nose will be dripping, my own throat constricted. It's really annoying... I just want to get better as soon as possible so I can get back to my usual flow.

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Monday, October 19, 2009

Public Transportation Throwdown Showdown



So, let me give ya'll a little background to what happened before the guy started filming this. The Chinese lady wanted to sit down, but the Black woman had her bag on the other seat and would not move it. When the Chinese lady started getting upset at not being able to sit, asking more forcefully for the Black woman to move her bag (and her fat ass, because all Black woman have fat-asses, apparently) that's when the yelling started, which is about where the video picks-up.

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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Hiding Behind My Life




there's a tingling at the tips of my fingers, keeping me to the keyboard despite the fading light, laptop screen burning brightly into my bloodshot eyes. i haven't slept right in weeks, but i feel like i've been passed-out for days. rip van winkle and i, living past the present by sleeping through it. and nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to mind. guess that's the luck of living, to get by, and get by, and get by some little bit at a time. do you ever wonder what's enough compared to too much? do you ever wonder what's enough compared to too little? some people's standards remind me of depressing things, like kites stuck in a tree, keys that don't turn the lock, and puppies that don't give picked from the pound.

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Friday, October 9, 2009

Slice of Webcomic



 Sometimes I like to reread old comic strips to see how I've changed since I first started them. It's like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. The nostalgia and introspection hum deep inside of me beautifully.

Besides, the comics themselves are just awesome.

So! Here's a small selection of XKCD panels. This webcomic reminds me of myself in high school... and now.

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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Human Accessories




I think I've finally found the reason why the world is so screwed up.

Our children are being raised by a bunch of fucking dumbasses, thus becoming dumbasses themselves to grow up and make even more kids who'll also become dumbasses because they're the dumbass children of dumbass parents of dumbass grandparents. It's a vicious cycle.

What's happened to kids and parents? Not so long ago when I was growing up - in the 90's - we had regular childhoods. Childhoods filled with divorce, spanking, mouth-washing, emotionally traumatic birthdays, and evil siblings who steal your mother's breast milk...

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Veganism: Starvation

or Dietary Morality?



 This post is inspired by a conversation I had with a friend of mine, and a friend of hers, at Golden Harvest in the TL a few weeks ago.

You're damn sure I'm not going to feel some moral dilemma about cracking the aborted infertile fetus of a chicken in the frying pan. Runny, sunny-side up or scrambled; I'll eat it however. Also, I definitely enjoy cheese, milk, and honey. Better yet, give me all three with a hearty helping of steak wrapped in bacon.

See, I'm a carnivore. I eat meat. I like it, love it, can't get enough of it! Every time I make a meal, it doesn't seem complete without some version - chicken, fish, beef, or veal (yes even veal) - and whenever I don't have any, my body keenly feels the lack. It's like being slowly starved. It's like going outside with no shoes on. Sure, you can walk, but there's something missing...

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