Thursday, August 13, 2009

When Writers Fight

Shit gets ugly. The language, the verbiage, the artistic vocabulary turns from poetical and pretty into a variety of creatively drawn out narratives showing the other person as, put simply, a douchebag. A fight between writers is the worst sort of contest next to arguing with someone on the internet. Sure, you might win, but nobody will remember. All that sticks is the bullshit.

Okay, remember my old post about an ex-love interest of mine? [Romance to Socio-Cultural Representation] We'll seems like she's gotten tired - bored? - of leaving anonymous & negative blog comments. Decided to more directly throw a hissy-fit.

And goddamn if I can't help myself to post it right here for all ya'll to see.

"a short foray into mean-land

some of you may be aware of a certain person i used to be casual friends with who unexpectedly posted a hideously insulting blog about me (which i posted a few weeks ago).

i've occasionally pondered this individual/the things he said about me/why i always had this weird awful feeling whenever i talked to/hung out with him. some conclusions:

1. he had a crush on me (which was apparent from the start, i.e. in the shakespeare class we were both in last semester where he stared at me unabashedly for an entire class period and then approached me on the train home ... also, when he wrote me a missed connection during spring break saying he wanted to hang out). i was flattered, i admit, but somehow never had a romantic interest. however, guys who have a crush on you usually make great friends, so i tried to strike up a friendship. i thought things would be ok that way. i think, instead, he let resentment boil in his little heart until it exploded in a nasty, unprovoked blog post, hence ending the friendship completely.

2. he is one of those people who hates hipsters because he will never be one. not even saying i'm a hipster, because i don't consider myself one even though i do have an affinity for their style. however, he very pointedly labelled me as such in his blog and OBVIOUSLY has a chip on his shoulder when it comes to hipsters. i think he wishes he could be that cool (which is stupid) but secretly feels he never will be (which might be true). therefore, me = hipster = evil (in his muddled little brain, anyway).

3. he's not ugly, and he doesn't have bad style (mostly american apparel hoodies, tight pants, and leather converse), but there was always something about him that made me just think ... ugh. i couldn't really figure out why, but i suppose there are just some people you really aren't attracted to even though there's nothing specifically wrong with them. then i learn a few things about his love life. i see pictures of a nsa friend of his. i throw up a little in my mouth. i think i instinctively realized he was the type of guy who would sleep with anything. somehow, knowing that someone you are hooking up with will hook up with anything with the right parts is just kind of disgusting. who wants to be the exception in a string of yucky-looking sexual partners? i don't, even though it would probably ensure that i lived on favorably in memory as the hot girl. and i'm not even that hot.

4. he falls in love with everyone he sleeps with. can you imagine how annoying it would be?

5. i think he's jealous that i have a much more casual, rational, well-adjusted attitude toward relationships and sex. but he has to defend his weird hyper-romantic philosophy because it's all he has - and it protects him from his feelings of inadequacy when he repeatedly gets rejected by girls who don't really like him that much.

ouch. now departing mean-land. sorry if it was a scary ride.

going to the rite spot now to see my friend alexandria's boyfriend's band. and probably duane's house later. :D"

Here's the [link that will probably be useless after reading] directly to her homepage, if you're interested. Probably gonna be made private - or not? - after she conceivably reads this post, but so it goes.

Now on to deconstructing this obviously angry little rant.

First let me say I really can't contest anything she said. It's all true, though not for the reasons specified.

Yes, I do hate hipsters, but actually it's because I often feel like one myself. It's sort of a self-hating mechanism - an intellectual masochism - and despite my issues with the subculture, that doesn't really prevent you from being one yourself. Or from being a scenester along with it.

Oh, and for the record: they aren't cool.

Also, who's going to call me the type of person to "sleep with anything" when they get drunk and fuck their customers? Or even better yet, say I fall in love with everyone I sleep with when they bask in the afterglow of sex and do the same thing themselves? However, the girl's got her points. I don't really need to only sleep with super-attractive people. I'd just rather sleep with people who I genuinely like instead. Glad to know it'd make you happy to be the best-looking person I'd ever have had sex with though... Way to not be as shallow as I described you. (By the by, you'd only be the 3rd hottest person I've fucked. Good try though.)

I certainly did like her, very much even at one point. But as you get to know a person, sometimes you realize they weren't who you thought they were. And it definitely left an impression on me that someone so beautiful could be so ugly inside. It's interesting to note that she'd be so willing to let me hang around to fluff up her ego, knowing I had a crush on her, yet pretending to ignore it. Seems a bit manipulative and one-sided... doesn't it?

Lastly, after thinking about her essentially unhappy approach to life in the context of how easy it is in comparison to most of the world, it made me question her not only as a friend, but as a person; which was why I wrote the blog post I did, deliberately keeping her anonymous until she decided to reveal herself anyways. (Kudos to that by the way, for manning-up.)

While her personal philosophy definitely is "casual", I really can't say whether it's more "rational" or "well-adjusted". It certainly is less emotional, less compassionate, and far less beautiful. I guess that's the trade-off though? I may get to look like an idiot, but at least I don't get to look like a bitch...

Yes, honey, it hurts when I know you so well and choose to actually be mean, as opposed to just disappointed.

Anyways, it's good to know I can still be an asshole, because most of the time people tell me I'm too nice with all these women I write about. Still, this is why you should never tell a good-looking girl the truth about herself. She's not used to it, because most of time everyone just tells her how amazing she is, because who would have the balls to ruin their chances with an attractive, seemingly cool person?

Apparently, me.

Conclusion & Implications: Drama sucks. Women are crazy. I still have poor choice in them. And hope to gawd I don't see her around next semester. This girl has a shanker with a picture of Franklin Delano Roosevelt on the hilt. Really.

I don't think I'd like being stabbed.


Thought I'd include this fun little post-script.

so i just have to mention this little blog war that i somehow got involved in, which has become so hilarious i'm not even really mad anymore.
i posted my rebuttal for steve (original blog-war-starter) to read and he so COMPLETELY overreacted and upped-the-ante that i'm totally at a loss as to why this has even continued. needless to say, it's pointless to respond any further.
i do find it a little sad that he chose to publicize the comment i made about his nsa friend so that she would read it and identify herself. i didn't want to hurt her feelings, just .. uhh .. his. haha. but seriously, i'm sorry she had to read that. god knows it sucks reading insults about yourself. i guess we've all gotten a little taste of shit now, haven't we?
anyway, he's quite the arguer and i could totally get into it with him, and probably have some sick fun with it too, but i think he's taking it all very seriously, and at this point, i'm just laughing.

blogs are sticky things. i tend to limit mine to daily events, drunken rants, and fashion pictures in order to avoid this sort of thing. i will definitely stay the course in the future.

in other news, a really cute boy with a mustache and tight pants smiled at me as he got off the bus tonight. :D"

1. She posted the "nsa friend" comments/insults here before my post even self-published to my blog.
2. Natalye isn't the "nsa friend" she saw.
3. This has continued because she decided to write another rebuttal a few weeks after this whole thing seemingly blew over.
4. Would she still have felt as good if a regular-looking boy had smiled at her?

However, like she (claims) I do find this whole thing completely hilarious. But also makes me a little sad, because even as I laugh about her - and she laughs at me - I still feel genuinely bad for her.

So it goes.

19 footnotes:

emily said...

oh steve, sorry to disappoint you, but this "mean" post was way less hurtful than the supposedly "honest" one that preceded it.
also, not ONE of those anonymous posts was mine. guess you'll just have to accept the fact that i'm not your only disapproving reader.
i wish you all the best ... far away from me.

Zek J Evets said...

@emily: apparently at least one of them was yours, since you posted an anonymous post of your blog just a little while ago... it's funny that you really wanted me to know you posted that too. i mean, does this mean you actually like me in a 2nd grade sort of way? haha. probably not... i hope.

and why would you think that any of what you wrote was hurtful? honestly this whole thing is mostly hilarious, and kinda good for the drama-factor of my blog.

but if you really wished me all the best away from you, you wouldn't have invaded my blog...

wish you had the good sense to stop digging yourself into this hole. you are kind of embarrassing yourself. i mean, do you really care about what i wrote? if so, i feel bad for your self-esteem, but you were actually incidental to my entire point, which was about our generation. you were more of a personal regret than anything else.

and if you want to continue our disagreement, maybe you'd prefer to just send me an angry email? it's less publicly humiliating. for both of us.

natalye said...

i have so many things i can say. but really, anyone who says things like "i see pictures of a nsa friend of his. i throw up a little in my mouth." is probably a shallow immature cunt who needs to grow the fuck up. and you, you're better off not feeling instantly compelled to retaliate against mean things said, cause it's a ridiculous and petty battle. although it certainly makes for an interesting read...

Zek J Evets said...

@natalye: your comment is AMZAZING!

thanks =)

natalye said...

wow, it's so good that it's not just AMAZING, it's AMZAZING?!


Anonymous said...

is the nsa friend natalye? because I threw up a little too.

Zek J Evets said...

*sigh* times like this make me seriously consider moderating my comments...

tuleep said...

Oh you will not moderate this shit--it's too funny. And this girl isn't nice or cool enough to be quoting Dodgeball.

Keep throwing up in your mouth a little and you will be nothing but a smelly pirate hooker, living in her home on whore island (thank you will ferrel). It's just not a very nice thing to be saying about how someone looks.

Zek J Evets said...

@tuleep: haha, thanks... pretty much the only reason i bothered to post it was because i knew you, my delightful readers would enjoy it.

still, that leaves the problem of whore island. does such a place actually exist? and can i take caribbean to get there?

natalye said...

@tuleep i wasn't aware i had that affect on people, but then again, maybe anonymous is just choking on all the bullshit he/she seems to be in the habit of spewing.

FunkyStarkitty50 said...

Eloquently put, Natalye!!I just don't know what else to say about this other than it gives me flashbacks to the arguments I used to witness back in high school- a long time ago. Except one girl had her ear bitten off. Tell you that story later "Zek".

Anonymous said...

@natalye nope it's definitely not the bullshit I'm choking on

natalye said...

@anonymous omfgz i way care about what some unidentifiable person on the internets thinks of me!!!1!11!!

Anonymous said...

@natalye hun you really shouldn't! it's only the internet!

natalye said...

awww, sarcasm fail.

Anonymous said...

my bad! don't be so subtle in your sarcasm! ;)

Zek J Evets said...

i can't believe i'm going to say this but, can you guys stop fighting on my blog? haha

@natalye: remember, you were the one who told me not to give in to their pathetic meanness. thanks for defending me though.

@anon: i don't mind your negativity towards ME, but please leave my readers alone; or i will delete your comments and then you'll just have to have your tantrums all by yourself.


natalye said...

@zek j evets try not to be super j that i am on your bloggorz stealing all your internet dramaz.

p.s. this is where we're eating sunday

Zek J Evets said...

@natalye: haha, sorry. you're right, i'm hating your attention-whores...

p.s. when are we eating there? what're the logistics? we meet up, go together, etc? i'll just call you tomorrow to spit-ball.