Monday, August 3, 2009

I fought the Law / and the Law won

Over the course of my life so far, I've had my fair share of run-ins with the fuzz, With the heat, the pigs, cops, boys in blue - the police.

Maybe it's just my luck, my experience, but I've never gotten on with them. Call it tragic destiny, to be on opposite sides of these legal matters. All I know is that whenever I see a cop, I don't feel safe, or suddenly protected. In fact, NOBODY I know does. Most people I've met, when they see a black & white roll up, they turn their backs, mutter under their breath, and wait anxiously for them to move along.

Guilty conscious? Nope. We don't like being reminded of the laws we've broken, but more importantly, we don't like being reminded of someone watching us to make sure. Who wants navy-colored suits determining your every move as either legal or ill? Who wants to to be judged by some anonymous authority?

Can't say I ever met a cop I genuinely liked. Sure, I've had nice cops - meaning they decided to only give me ONE ticket - but for the most part, they've all been a bunch of douchebags tied together with silly-string. Gotten the bald headed, the fat gutted, the overly militaristic, and even the blatantly homosexual masquerading as homophobic.

The thing I really don't like about cops - and the law enforcement establishment in general - is the whole ticket quota thing. Dunno how it is in other states, but in California, our police officers are expected to give out a certain number of tickets (for traffic violations and such) otherwise they get into trouble.

How fucked-up is that? Cops aren't being encouraged to find people breaking serious laws. No, instead they're being arm-twisted into passing on the hassle of their superiors to the citizenry. What if they don't find enough speeders??? Do they have to just grab some innocent person and trick them into getting a ticket? Are they gonna have to cite people for ever more ridiculous things, like j-walking, or spitting on the sidewalk?

I understand why I get in trouble. I'm speeding, trespassing, changing lanes quickly, making noise at random hours of the night, and generally doing things just a teensy outside the comfort-zone of blase society. But is the state of California really so deep in debt they've got fine me all the time like this? Is my dollar really going to bring us out of the red?

Also, why in the unholy FUCK are you pulling kids over for not wearing a helmet while riding their bike? Don't you have anything better to do? Like eat more donuts. Seriously, eat more donuts you fat porker fucks. And while you're at it, beat up some minorities too.

Kidding! I kid the police. (Please don't arrest me.)

Still, why is it that people don't feel safe when they see the police? Why do the ones we trust to "protect and serve" us make us nervous? Why are the police we see so ineffectual? I can guess that the ones we don't are those who actually DO something, but shouldn't the sad bastard on patrol still set a good example? Seems like I'm asking naively again for better job performance. Silly me!

Sure, you could probably argue that I have no idea what I'm talking about. That the world would be chaotic without cops around to keep tabs. You could make a fairly good point that law enforcement is a necessary thing, and all I'm doing is bitchin', moanin' only because they're hassling me.

Except then why do you slow down whenever they show up?

2 footnotes:

JacqueRoxx said...

Yes! I agree, cops are shady. The whole ticket quota thing is ridiculous. They should have a drug dealer quota and get them off the streets. Actually, some cops know who the drug dealers are and actually take drugs from them, then turn around and give a good person a ticket for turning into the wrong lane on an empty street. But the police do take a break from beating minorities to risk their lives from time to time. So I respect them then

Zek J Evets said...

@jacque: yeah, for the cops who are actually out there putting their lives at risk to catch drug-dealers, murderers, rapists, and the like, i salute you gentleman (gentleladies?). but thankfully we've never had to meet, even though sadly it's given me only a certain perspective of the police.