Monday, July 13, 2009

Private Lives

This is something of a rant.

Have you ever been so bored you started browsing random people on MS/FB? Picture it: late-night, empty glass of soda-pop, maybe vodka-shots, while lo-fi music or mainstream television reruns play in the background. You're bumming around on the computer, and all of a sudden you come upon some creamy delicious looking pics of a person's social networking profile. You click to open and... BLOCKED. You try again. Again. And again. Fail. Blocked. Friends only. "You must be the blog owner to read this." Eventually the sheer frustration of trying to see what is so important that someone would commit the hypocrisy of putting it on the internet but making it private increases blood-flow to your head until it explodes in a confetti of unsatisfied curiosity. Balls deep yo.

Okay, I understand wanting to avoid stalkers, pervs, sixty year-old men with massive collections of child pornography, and the occasional tranny who actually thinks s/he can "pass" - but c'mon! This is the internet. You're not so rich/famous/gorgeous that your average creepster is gonna waste time splattering their laptop screen for your tween-level goodies when they can see Lady Gaga with a camel-toe in under five-seconds via Google's search engine.

Why is your profile/page/blog blocked? What's so important? What's so fucking secret? And if it is... then why post it on the internet? You do realize Tom is totally selling that shit to gossip-mags for pennies on the dollar, whoring out your post-high school rants about "what you're gonna do with your life" to reality television writers to use as script fodder for the next episode of Charm School or Project Runway. Basically, nobody gives a damn.

I hate such passive-aggressive, contradictory, attention-seeking bullshit. There's something insidious about it that brings out my Medulla-Oblongata overdrive, turning me into some Jekyll/Hyde monstrosity who will literally hack the shit out of your pathetic profile and post its contents anonymously on Craigslist's Casual Encounters with the title, "Looking for a good time." I'm not impressed with your drama.

Why do people make Myspace profiles, Facebook pages, or blog posts, and then make them PRIVATE!? You don't want someone to see you, but still want to be "connected"? Are you "trying this out", but "not sure"? Is it to simply increase your amount of friend-requests???

What in the holy mother of Geebus P. Cryst sucking a donk from the end of Satan's cock kind of twisted cyberpunk voyeuristic peep-show logic is this? Seriously. Someone explain it to me. I really want to know.

11 footnotes:

Andruba said...

Yes!!! LMFAO!!!! I totally agree.

natalye said...

something you probably won't understand unless you get a professional office job post-college is that employers can and do look up information about you online. unfortunately for them, the greater details of my personal life are relegated to the realm of "friends and family" and not "future bosses" - so there is a reason i censor myself, and i consider it highly legitimate.

as a freelance writer or a musician, this isn't so much of an issue for you, i understand. but when you are hired to work for a company and essentially "represent" that company, you need to be careful, not only about what information the company knows about you, but also what the people you interact with know about you. for example, as a reporter, i not only was associated with the publication i worked for, but i interviewed ceos and other high-up people in multi-billion dollar commercial real estate companies. if any of these people i had an on-going professional relationship with had access to the more personal aspects of my life (like the pictures or interests or dialogue or comments on these profiles), it could not only affect my image, but the image of the company, and my standing in said company.

sounds like it's paranoia, but it's all very real. you just have to be careful.

Anonymous said...



(L O L)


Zek J Evets said...

@natalye: oh i know about the issue with companies looking up their employees and prospective hires online. hell, obama fired one of his interns because said intern had compromising photos of himself on twitter and facebook.

i understand the concept of "image", but i also think the private and public sectors both should respect the separation between an employee's professional life and their private life.

true, courts in our country have upheld the arguments of many corporate-paid lawyers that by having compromising information about yourself or the company online, even in myspace or facebook, constitutes a violation of your standard NDA, and in many cases company policy, thus breaching contract, thus "you're fired."

however, that kind of argument can also lead us into cyber-censorship, where people are afraid to use social-networking sites (but ironically compelled to) because they might not get hired if their myspace profile doesn't look "professional" enough, or their facebook status updates make it seem like they're not working hard enough.

it is paranoia, and it is very real.

but what i was talking about was much more innocuous and stupid, like when a random twenty-something spends fifty-hours customizing her myspace profile but still keeps the settings on private because she's afraid of creepy-stalker guys...

Zek J Evets said...



Anonymous said...

Off topic, but there are bigger fish to fry:

Zek J Evets said...

@anon: WHA!? (O.o)

this is surely highly bloggable content.

JacqueRoxx said...

Whatever, I disagree. I have a Facebook to connect with friends, family, classmates, bloggers, basically people who KNOW me. So if someone doesn't know me, I don't want them seeing me. I also don't want some creep jacking off to my photos or whatever it is that creeps do. There was a girl who had a perfectly innocent photo of herself taken off her FB and used on the cover of a porno without her permission. That's why my page is set to private.

Zek J Evets said...

@jacque: if you don't want people to see you, then don't be on the internet. if want to be on the internet, then that's the price you pay.

those situations like the one you described would happen, no matter if you kept your page private. people are always abusing the internet, and if they want to steal your identity or photo, making a private profile won't stop them. and it won't stop them jacking off to your picture. someone's probably done it already without you even knowing. maybe someone snapped your picture out in the world, or captured you on video.

not that i'm trying to scare you. i'm just saying.

JacqueRoxx said...

Why shouldn't I be on the internet? That's dumb. I want to be on the internet, Facebook specifically, so my FRIENDS can see me, talk to me, connect with me, etc.

When it comes to Blogger, I see your frustration. I hate clicking on blog links only to get "This blog can be seen by blog authors only". Now that deserves a what the f*ck. Why write a blog that only you can see? Rather, they should just put their blog posts on FB.

Zek J Evets said...

@jacque: i'm not saying you shouldn't be on the internet. i'm saying you shouldn't be on the internet if you're not willing to pay the price of it (higher risk of identity theft, pervs, creepers, stalkers, etc) while at the same time, not being contradictory by posting information and then hiding it at the same time. i guess i'm just asking for consistency.

as for blogs... i have a problem with private blogs in general. why blog if you're not going to let anyone read it? just make a word document and save it to your computer. MS/FB/Blogger/whatever... all of them are social networking and content-posting sites. they're not about privacy of information but about prevalence.

still, agree to disagree? i guess.