Pages

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Books - I buys them - tots and lots and lots of them


Been visiting a lot of bookstores recently, now that I'm no longer doing "required reading" for my college classes. Probably gonna bankrupt myself with my obsessive love for fancy hardcovers and comfortable paperbacks. Can't get enough reading material, it seems.

Here's my stack (so far) for the summer:


1. Escape from Hell, by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle



2. The Laugh-Out-Loud Cats Sell Out, by A. Koford



3. The Prophet, by Khalil Gibran



4. Patterns of Culture, by Ruth Benedict



5. Persepolis, by Marjane Satrapi (the two volume version)



6. Requiem for a Paper Bag, by Davy Rothbart



7. Extremely Loud Incredibly Close, by Jonathan Safran Foer



This is gonna be intense. I'm excited.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Musicality for the Masses




The lyrics help you hear the song like I do.

"only time will tell if I'll allow
the scenery around to eat me alive

I want to sleep for weeks like a dog at her feet
even though I know it won't work out in the long run
so I burn down the walls, breathe like a shadow
those arms I once knew hold me like ghosts
I learn how to speak forgotten language
I fall in the sea but forget how to swim

When anything that's anything becomes nothing that's everything
and nothing is the only thing you ever seem to have

but only time will tell if I'll allow
the scenery around to eat me alive

I want to sleep for weeks like a dog at her feet
even though I know it won't work out in the long run
so I burn down Nepal, breathe like a shadow
those arms I once knew hold me like ghosts
I learn how to speak defeated language
I fall in the street as I howl at the moon

When anything that's anything becomes nothing that's everything
and nothing is the only thing you ever seem to have"

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Quote Collection


I only collect three things: keychains, quotes, and stories. Of those, only quotes are something that I find make a daily impact on my life in meaningful, if obscure, ways.

This will be my longest post ever, but here's my entire collection, from start to finish, amassed over a period of five or six years. Enjoy!



A Saboteur Academia Production!

Alternative Wisdom for Hipsters, Hobos, and Haters

The Most A-mazazingly Phat & Nifty Collection of Quotes

Amassed in the History of Everything



By Zek J Evets

(With credit to Jasper Ostrom, Gian Acosta, Tuba Mikol,
David Tow, Miss So&So, Uncle Mal, Wikipedia, ThinkExist, Google,
and Procrastination)


1. "So yeah, dreams are important. And I think there are more dreamers today than ever before in the history of anything…but…they're so afraid, so many of them. Afraid to lose all their 'manageable misery.' It's all just so…so…pathetic. Pathetic…and selfish. Are you seriously telling me…that you would deny the world an exquisite painting just because the cardboard firm from down the street is hiring? That you'd stay out of politics because your mates would think you a twat? That the greatest secrets of quantum physics would go forever unearthed…because Dad thinks girls are fit only for babymaking? Does that really sound good enough for you? Really? Maddening! And don't you dare tell me I'm unrealistic. I know a body's chance of sinking their claws into a dream are fairly grim. But…not to try? To settle into the gray doldrums with nary a peep?" — Serenity Rose, by Aaron A.

2. "Writers must fortify themselves with pride and egotism as best they can. The process is analogous to using sandbags and loose timbers to protect a house against flood. Writers are vulnerable creatures like anyone else. For what do they have in reality? Not sandbags, not timbers. Just a flimsy reputation and a name." — Brian Aldiss

3. "An overcrowded world is the ideal place in which to be lonely." — Super-Toys Last All Summer Long, by Brian Aldiss

4. "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." — Canto III line 9, The Inferno by Dante Alighieri

5. "Sex is only dirty if it's done right." — Woody Allen

6. "Nothing artificial is really pleasing." — St. Ambrose

7. "If you're killing someone in the name of God — you're missing the message." — Nick Annis

8. "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." — Aristotle

9. "If I am right, then (religious fundamentalists) will not go to Heaven, because there is no Heaven. If they are right, then they will not go to Heaven, because they are hypocrites." — Isaac Asimov

10. "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." — Foundation Series, by Isaac Asimov

11. "Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." — Isaac Asimov

12. "I am not a speed reader. I am a speed understander." — Isaac Asimov

13. "No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be…" — My Own View, by Isaac Asimov

14. "Most of us, no matter what we say, are walking in the dark, whistling in the dark. Nobody knows what is going to happen to him from one moment to the next, or how one will bear it." — James Baldwin

15. "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." — Walter Bagehot

16. "Now I can cross the Shifting Sands." — Last words of Lyman Frank Baum

17. "First, I tell them what I am going to tell them, then I tell them, then I tell them what I told them." — Hilaire Belloc

18. "And she bare him a son, and he called his name Gershom: for he said, I have been a stranger in a strange land." — Exodus 2:22, The Bible

19. "For in much wisdom is much grief, and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." — Ecclesiastes 1:18, The Bible

20. "Your unforgivable sins do not allow you to see my splendor." — The masked dyer Hakim of Merv, by Jorge Luis Borges

21. "May Heaven exist, even if my place is Hell." — The Library of Babel, by Jorge Luis Borges

22. "To die for a religion is easier than to live it absolutely." — Deutsches Requiem, by Jorge Luis Borges

23. "Being with you and not being with you is the only way I have to measure time." — The Threatened, by Jorge Luis Borges

24. "Truly fine poetry must be read aloud…Poetry always remembers that it was an oral art before it was a written art. It remembers that it was first song." — The Divine Comedy, by Jorge Luis Borges

25. "A writer — and, I believe, generally all persons — must think that whatever happens to him or her is a resource. All things have been given to us for a purpose, and an artist must feel this more intensely. All that happens to us, including our humiliations, our misfortunes, our embarrassments, all is given to us as raw material, as clay, so that we may shape our art." — Jorge Luis Borges, from Twenty Conversations with Borges, Including a Selection of Poems: Interviews by Roberto Alifano

26. "The future is inevitable and precise, but it may not occur. God lurks in the gaps." — Creation and P.H. Gosse, by Jorge Luis Borges

27. "I think I understood love better when I had no love." — Jorge Luis Borges

28. "I am not sure that I exist, actually. I am all the writers that I have read, all the people that I have met, all the women that I have loved; all the cities that I have visited, all my ancestors… I am not sure of anything, I know nothing." — Jorge Luis Borges

29. "To hell with more. I want better." — Ray Bradbury

30. "Don't rejoice in his defeat… Although the world stood up and stopped the Bastard, the Bitch that bore him is in heat again." — Bertolt Brecht

31. "What I have loved, whether I have kept it or not, I shall love it forever." — André Breton

32. "Words make love with one another." — André Breton

33. "Leave everything. Leave Dada. Leave your wife. Leave your mistress. Leave your hopes and fears. Leave your children in the woods. Leave the substance for the shadow. Leave your easy life, leave what you are given for the future. Set off on the roads." — André Breton

34. "Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself." — André Breton

35. "An intellectual is a man who says a simple thing in a difficult way; an artist is a man who says a difficult thing in a simple way." — Notes From a Dirty Old Man, by Charles Bukowski

36. "To take one life is sin. To take a thousand is religion." — Syndicate Wars, the Book of Cataclysm, by Bullfrog Productions

37. "All farewells should be sudden." — Sardanapalus, by Lord Byron

38. "The best prophet of the future is the past." — Journal entry 1821-01-28, by Lord Byron

39. "The night was made for loving, and the day returns too soon." — So, We’ll Go No More A-Roving, by Lord Byron

40. "And after all, what is a lie? ‘Tis but the truth in masquerade." — Don Juan, by Lord Byron

41. "'Tis strange, — but true; for truth is always strange; stranger than fiction." — Don Juan, by Lord Byron

42. "There is no cabal." — The Backbone Cabal

43. "So many people tiptoe through life, so carefully, to arrive, safely, at death." — Tony Campolo

44. "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." — The Myth of Sisyphus, by Albert Camus

45. "One recognizes one's course by discovering the paths that stray from it." — The Myth of Sisyphus, by Albert Camus

46. "I loathe a certain self-satisfied virtue, I loathe society's dreadful morality because it results, exactly like absolute cynicism, in making men despair and in keeping them from taking responsibility for their own life with all its weight of errors and greatness." — Albert Camus

47. "You will never be happy if you keep searching for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you keep looking for the meaning of life without living it." — Albert Camus

48. "In the midst of winter, I found there was within me, an invincible summer." — Albert Camus

49. "That's life. It hurts, it's dirty, and it feels very very good." — Children of the Mind, by Orson Scott Card

50. "Everyone who says that they have no religious beliefs is just so certain about their belief that they accept it as truth. If you just start asking probing questions, and they start getting mad, then you've found their religion." — Orson Scott Card

51. "Once you know what people really want, you can't hate them anymore. You can fear them, but you can't hate them, because you can always find the same desires in your own heart." — Speaker for the Dead, by Orson Scott Card

52. "I've lived too long with pain. I won't know who I am without it." — Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card

53. "We pretend to be whatever we must in order to survive." – Xenocide, by Orson Scott Card

54. "I no longer tell anyone half of what I know, because if I told the whole truth there would be fear, hatred, brutality, murder, war." — Xenocide, by Orson Scott Card

55. "Life is a suicide mission." — Children of the Mind, by Orson Scott Card

56. "I once heard a tale of a man who split himself in two. The one part never changed at all; the other grew and grew. The changeless part was always true, the growing part was always new, and I wondered, when the tale was through, which part was me and which was you." — Children of the Mind, by Orson Scott Card

57. "The lies we live will always be confessed in the stories that we tell." — Orson Scott Card

58. "Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world." — Miguel de Cervantes

59. "No man is more than another unless he does more than another." — Miguel De Cervantes

60. "Sometimes I think if no one knows you, then you are no one." – Big Me, by Dan Chaon

61. "I don't pretend we have all the answers. But the questions are certainly worth thinking about…" — Arthur C. Clarke

62. "Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering." — Paulo Coelho

63. "Love is not a victory march / it’s a cold and it's a broken / Hallelujah" — Hallelujah, by Leonard Cohen

64. "I don’t like work — no man does — but I like what is in the work, — the chance to find yourself. Your own reality — for yourself, not for others — what no other man can ever know. They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means." — Heart of Darkness, by Joseph Conrad

65. "By eating soy burgers and tofu dogs, you're still buying into the 'meat concept'. If you yourself are a vegetarian, but still dream of burgers, then all you really are is a cryptocarnivore." — Microserfs, by Douglas Coupland

66. "Fate is for losers." — Girlfriend in a Coma, by Douglas Coupland

67. "If you're not spending every waking moment of your life radically rethinking the nature of the world… then you're wasting your day." — Girlfriend in a Coma, Douglas Coupland

68. "Time ticks by; we grow older. Before we know it, too much time has passed and we've missed the chance to have had people hurt us. To a younger me this sounded like luck; to an older me this sounded like a quiet tragedy." — Life After God, by Douglas Coupland

69. "… I realized that once people are broken in certain ways they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one." — Life After God, by Douglas Coupland

70. "There's a hardness I'm seeing in modern people. Those little moments of goofiness that used to make the day pass seem to have gone. Life's so serious now." — Girlfriend in a Coma, by Douglas Coupland

71. "If you want to get close to somebody, you have to tell him or her something intimate about yourself. They'll tell you something intimate in return, and if you keep this going, maybe you'll end up in love." — Hey Nostradamus!, by Douglas Coupland

72. "Alas, too often, they are aided and abetted… with catch-phrases, dogma, and ready-made opinions so they gain information rather than understanding." — Tandia, by Bryce Courtenay

73. "People are people through other people." — Tandia, by Bryce Courtenay

74. "i like the thrill of under me you so quite new." — i like my body when it is with your, by E. E. Cummings

75. "ye!the godless are dull and the dull are damned." — proud of his scientific attitude, by E.E. Cummings

76. "I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance." — New Poems 22, by E.E. Cummings

77. "unlove's the heavenless hell and homeless home… lovers alone wear sunlight." — E.E. Cummings

78. "Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." — Marie Curie

79. "Cogito ergo sum – I think therefore I am." — Rene Descartes

80. "Little things affect little minds." — Benjamin Disraeli

81. "Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action." — Benjamin Disraeli

82. "How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct." — Benjamin Disraeli

83. "Fate must be defied many times in order for a person to actually be called alive. This is because only a fool clings to Fate instead of living their own lives." — Tsunami Silver Dragon

84. "It was not only that I could not become spiteful, I did not know how to become anything; neither spiteful nor kind, neither a rascal nor an honest man, neither a hero nor an insect. Now, I am living out my life in my corner, taunting myself with the spiteful and useless consolation that an intelligent man cannot become anything seriously, and it is only the fool who becomes anything." — Notes from the Underground, by Fyodor Dostoevsky

85. "Two plus two equals five is not without its attractions." — Notes from the Underground, by Fyodor Dostoevsky

86. "It's life that matters, nothing but life — the process of discovering, the everlasting and perpetual process, not the discovery itself, at all." — The Idiot, by Fyodor Dostoevsky

87. "Woman inspire us to great things... and prevent us from achieving them." — Alexandre Dumas

88. "Men tighten the knot of confusion into perfect misunderstanding" — The Family Reunion, by T.S. Eliot

89. "… People to whom nothing has ever happened cannot understand the unimportance of events." — The Family Reunion, by T.S. Eliot

90. "I don't belong to any generation." — The Family Reunion, by T.S. Eliot

91. "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." — Transit of Venus, by T.S. Eliot

92. "It will do you no harm to find yourself ridiculous. Resign yourself to be the fool you are." — The Cocktail Party, by T.S. Eliot

93. "He is not a lover who does not love forever." — Euripides

94. "Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." — William Faulkner

95. "What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why." — Adam Ferrara

96. "He's dead. It was a terrible thing, he tripped over some cobwebs." — Vince Noir, The Mighty Boosh, by Noel Fielding

97. "'You know, you're a little complicated after all.' 'Oh no,' she assured him hastily, 'No, I'm not really — I'm just a — I'm just a whole lot of different simple people.'" — Tender Is the Night, by Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald

98. "'Long ago,' he said, 'long ago, there was something in me, but now that thing is gone. I cannot cry. I cannot care. That thing will come back no more.'" — Winter Dreams, by Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald

99. "He stretched his arms to the crystalline, radiant sky. 'I know myself,' he cried, 'but that is all —'" — This Side of Paradise, by Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald

100. "At any rate, let us love for a while, for a year or so, you and me. That's a form of divine drunkenness that we can all try." — Tales From The Jazz Age, by Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald

101. "An honest virgin... what a terrible combination." — Pseudolus, from A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, screenplay by Melvin Frank & Michael Pertwee

102. "The only way to overcome sadness is to consume it." — Everything is Illuminated, by Jonathan Safran Foer

103. "You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness." — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, by Jonathan Safran Foer

104. "More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone. More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to feel as if I wasn't alone." — A Million Little Pieces, by James Frey

105. "Sometimes skulls are thick. Sometimes hearts are vacant. Sometimes words don't work." — A Million Little Pieces, by James Frey

106. "We too are stardust." — Sophie's World, by Jostein Gaarder

107. "There is something of the divine mystery in everything that exists." — Sophie's World, by Jostein Gaarder

108. "The really dangerous people believe they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous." — American Gods, by Neil Gaiman

109. "The world is always ending, for someone." — Signal to Noise, by Neil Gaiman

110. "Whatever happened to me in my life, happened to me as a writer of plays. I'd fall in love, or fall in lust. And at the height of my passion, I would think, 'So this is how it feels,' and I would tie it up in pretty words. I watched my life as if it were happening to someone else. My son died. And I was hurt, but I watched my hurt, and even relished it, a little, for now I could write a real death, a true loss. My heart was broken by my dark lady, and I wept, in my room, alone; but while I wept, somewhere inside I smiled. For I knew I could take my broken heart and place it on the stage of The Globe, and make the pit cry tears of their own." — Issue 75 of The Sandman, "The Tempest," by Neil Gaiman

111. "God has no religion" — Mohandas Gandhi

112. "Truth resides in every human heart, and one has to search for it there, and to be guided by truth as one sees it. But no one has a right to coerce others to act according to his own view of the truth." — Mohandas Gandhi

113. "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty the ocean does not become dirty." — Mohandas Ghandi

114. "Love is not a feeling, it's an ability." — Marty, from Dan in Real Life, written by Peter Hedges & Pierce Garnder

115. "You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give." — Khalil Gibran

116. "Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative." — The Mikado, by Arthur Sullivan & W.S. Gilbert

117. "The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, all centuries but this and every country but his own." — The Mikado, by Arthur Sullivan & W.S. Gilbert

118. "Yes, I am the Apostle of Simplicity. I am called Archibald the All-Right, for I am infallible." — Patience, by Arthur Sullivan & W.S. Gilbert

119. "I am the very model of a modern major general. I've information animal, vegetable and mineral. I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical from Marathon to Waterloo, in order catagorical." — The Pirates of Penzance, by Arthur Sullivan & W.S. Gilbert

120. "The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers and cities; but to know someone here and there who thinks and feels with us, and though distant, is close to us in spirit — this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

121. "There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

122. "Nothing is more terrible than ignorance in action." — Proverbs in Prose, by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

123. "One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words." — Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship, by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

124. "Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live." — Part one of Faust, by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

125. "I love those who yearn for the impossible." — Part two of Faust, by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

126. "Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

127. "Everything is simpler than you think and at the same time more complex than you imagine." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

128. "The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

129. "He who cannot draw on three thousand years is living hand to mouth." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

130. "I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be and I finally became that person. Or he became me. Or we met at some point" — Cary Grant

131. "On the other hand, we have different fingers." — Jack Handey

132. "I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it." — Jack Handey

133. "Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason? Why, if it prosper, none dare call it treason" — Epigrams, by John Harington

134. "Courage is the complement of fear. A man who is fearless cannot be courageous. (He is also a fool.)" — Robert Heinlein

135. "Never underestimate the power of human stupidity." — Robert Heinlein

136. "There's no one thing that's true. It's all true." — For Whom The Bell Tolls, by Ernest Hemingway

137. "The individual, the great artist when he comes, uses everything that has been discovered or known about his art up to that point, being able to accept or reject in a time so short it seems that the knowledge was born with him, rather than that he takes instantly what it takes the ordinary man a lifetime to know, and then the great artist goes beyond what has been done or known and makes something of his own." — Death in the Afternoon, by Ernest Hemingway

138. "A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book." — Letter (December 6 1924), by Ernest Hemingway

139. "That is what we are supposed to do when we are at our best — make it all up — but make it up so truly that later it will happen that way." — Letter (May 28 1934), by Ernest Hemingway

140. "There are events which are so great that if a writer has participated in them his obligation is to write truly rather than assume the presumption of altering them with invention." — Preface to The Great Crusade, Gustav Regler, by Ernest Hemingway

141. "Man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated." — The Old Man and The Sea, by Ernest Hemingway

142. "I am glad we do not have to try and kill the stars. Imagine if each day a man must try to kill the moon. The moon runs away. But imagine if a man each day should have to try to kill the sun? Yes, we are born lucky." — Ernest Hemingway

143. "Are you all Gideons? Who are the fucking Gideons? Ever met one, no! Ever seen one, no! But they're all over the fucking world, putting Bibles in hotel rooms! Every one of them: 'This Bible was placed here by a Gideon.' When? I've been here all day and I ain't seen shit! I saw the housekeeper come and go, I saw the minibar guy come and go, I've never laid eyes on a fucking Gideon! What are they, ninjas? Where are they? Where are they from? Gidea? Who the fuck are these people?! I'm gonna capture a Gideon. Yeah, I'm gonna make that my hobby. I'll call up the front desk one day and say, "Uh, I don't seem to have a Bible in my room." — Bill Hicks, from Rant in E-Minor

144. "But you know, it's hard to have a relationship in this business, man. It's gonna take a very special woman … or a bunch of average ones. Anyway, I was reading an article in the paper about Ted Bundy [the mass murderer] being on trial in Florida. In the article it said the courtroom was filled with women waiting to give him flowers, love letters and wedding fucking proposals … and I'm afraid to say that the first thing that entered my head was: 'And I'm not getting laid.' What am I doing wrong? I read another article, a woman is suing the state of Wisconsin. Here's why: She married a fella. He's on death row. Why is he on death row? He killed 8 women … he has AIDS, and she's suing the state for rights of conjugal visits. And I'm afraid to say that the first thing that came to my head was: 'And I'm not getting laid.'" — Bill Hicks

145. "Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body – as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" — Bill Hicks

146. "A guy says, 'I hate Jews,' and I said, 'Why?' He goes, 'Because they killed my God.' They believe that. If I believed that the Jews killed my God, I'd worship the Jews, 'cause shit, there's some badasses on that team, man. I haven't seen God ever, I see Jews all the time — go figure." — Bill Hicks

147. "Even the smallest dog can lift its leg on the tallest building." — Jim Hightower

148. "Joys are not the property of the rich alone; nor that he has lived ill, who at his birth and at his death has passed unnoticed." — Horace

149. "Those who cause the greatest pain, speak the kindest." — Indivisible, by Fanny Howe

150. "Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it." — Langston Hughes

151. "We are for religion against the religions." — Les Misérables, by Victor Hugo

152. "On this point, the priest and the philosopher agree: We must die." — Les Misérables, Victor Hugo

153. "A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil." — Les Misérables, by Victor Hugo

154. "They are willing to die, provided they kill." — Les Misérables, by Victor Hugo

155. "It is nothing to die; it is horrible not to live." — Les Misérables, by Victor Hugo

156. "Nothing in this world is so powerful as an idea whose time has come." — Victor Hugo

157. "The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude." — Proper Studies, by Aldous Huxley

158. "That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach." — Case of Voluntary Ignorance in Collected Essays, by Aldous Huxley

159. "I am simply in favor of intellectual hospitality — that is all." — Robert G. Ingersoll

160. "Why do you not judge for yourselves what is right?" — Jesus of Nazareth, variant of Luke 12:57

161. "Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it... It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." — How to Save Your Own Life, by Erica Jong

162. "On the heights, the paths are paved with daggers." — The Shadow Rising, by Robert Jordan

163. "You have to understand… Everyone wants someone in their life, someone who cares for them, someone they can care for." — The Shadow Rising, by Robert Jordan

164. "Sometimes, pain is all that lets you know you're alive." — Crossroads of Twilight, by Robert Jordan

165. "But as you know, the most important reason for going from one place to another is to see what's in between." — The Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster

166. "The bulk of the world's knowledge is an imaginary construction." — Helen Keller

167. "I cannot do everything, but I can do something. I must not fail to do the something that I can do." — Helen Keller

168. "A pain stabbed my heart, as it did every time I saw a girl I loved who was going the opposite direction in this too-big world." — On the Road, by Jack Kerouac

169. "Hunt for the difference that makes a difference." — Frances Parkinson Keyes

170. "I must find a truth that is true for me." — Letter to Peter Willhelm Lund, by Søren Kierkegaard

171. "Oh, can I really believe the poet's tales, that when one first sees the object of one's love, one imagines one has seen her long ago, that all love like all knowledge is remembrance, that love too has its prophecies in the individual…it seems to me that I should have to possess the beauty of all girls in order to draw out a beauty equal to yours; that I should have to circumnavigate the world in order to find the place I lack and which the deepest mystery of my whole being points towards, and at the next moment you are so near to me, filling my spirit so powerfully that I am transfigured for myself, and feel that it's good to be here." — Journal entry 1839-02-02, by Søren Kierkegaard

172. "Since my earliest childhood a barb of sorrow has lodged in my heart. As long as it stays I am ironic — if it is pulled out I shall die." — Journal entry 1847, by Søren Kierkegaard

173. "What is a poet? An unhappy man who conceals profound anguish in his heart, but whose lips are so fashioned that when sighs and groans pass over them they sound like beautiful music." — Either/Or, by Søren Kierkegaard

174. "People flock about the poet and say to him: do sing again; which means, would that new sufferings tormented your soul, and: would that your lips stayed fashioned as before, for your cries would only terrify us, but your music is delightful. And the critics join them, saying: well done, thus must it be according to the laws of aesthetics. Why, to be sure, a critic resembles a poet as one pea another, the only difference being that he has no anguish in his heart and no music on his lips. Behold, therefore would I rather be a swineherd on Amager, and be understood by the swine than a poet, and misunderstood by men." — Either/Or, by Søren Kierkegaard

175. "When I was very young I forgot in the Trophonian cave how to laugh; but when I grew older and opened my eyes and contemplated the real world, I had to laugh, and have not ceased laughing, ever since." — Either/Or, by Søren Kierkegaard

176. "Do not interrupt the flight of your soul; do not distress what is best in you; do not enfeeble your spirit with half wishes and half thoughts. Ask yourself and keep on asking until you find the answer, for one may have known something many times, acknowledged it; one may have willed something many times, attempted it — and yet, only the deep inner motion, only the heart's indescribable emotion, only that will convince you that what you have acknowledged belongs to you, that no power can take it from you — for only the truth that builds up is truth for you." — Either/Or, by Søren Kierkegaard

177. "Once he would gladly have given everything to be rid of this agony, but he was kept in waiting; now it is too late, now he would rather rage against everything and be the wronged victim of the whole world and of all life, and it is of particular significance to him to make sure that he has his torment on hand and that no one takes it away from him… What demonic madness -- the thought that most infuriates him is that eternity could get the notion to deprive him of his misery." — The Sickness Unto Death, by Søren Kierkegaard

178. "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." — Søren Kierkegaard

179. "You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face / And show the world all the / love in your heart / The people gonna treat you better / You're gonna find, yes you will / That you're beautiful as you feel." — Beautiful (1971), by Carole King

180. "Rarely do we find [people] who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think." — Doctor Martin Luther King Jr.

181. "Everyone is more or less mad at one point." — Plain Tales from the Hills, by Rudyard Kipling

182. "Let the motive be in the deed, and not in the event. Be not one whose motive for action is the hope of reward." — Krishna

183. "Do you think that the amoeba ever dreamed that it would evolve into the frog? Of course it didn't. And when that first frog shimmied out of the water and employed its vocal cords in order to attract a mate or to retard a predator, do you think that that frog ever imagined that that incipient croak would evolve into all the languages of the world, into all the literature of the world? Of course it fucking didn't. And just as that froggy could never possibly have conceived of Shakespeare, so we can never possibly imagine our destiny." — Naked, by Mike Leigh

184. "You shouldn't stick anything up your cunt that you can't put in your mouth." — Naked, by Mike Leigh

185. "Was I bored? No, I wasn't fuckin' bored. I'm never bored. That's the trouble with everybody – you're all so bored. You've 'ad nature explained to you, and you're bored with it. You've 'ad the living body explained to you, and you're bored with it. You've 'ad the universe explained to you, and you're bored with it. So now you just want cheap thrills and like plenty of 'em, and it dun matter 'ow tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it's new…as long as it flashes and fucking bleeps in forty different colours. Well, whatever else you can say about me, I'm not fuckin' bored." — Naked, by Mike Leigh

186. "Louise: Well, I don't know if I want to get married, but I wouldn't say no to a proper relationship.
Sophie: What is a proper relationship?
Louise: Living with someone who talks to ya after they've bonked ya." — Naked, by Mike Leigh

187. "Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad." — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

188. "All the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action." — James Russell Lowell

189. "And I don't see what everybody / sees in your sexy body / all I see is a shallow grave / trapped inside a pretty face." – Poor Jackie, by Man Man, from Rabbit Habits

190. "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." — Nelson Mandela

191. "Life never becomes a habit for me. It's always a marvel." — Katherine Mansfield

192. "Sometimes you got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun." — Adrian Cronauer, from Good Morning, Vietnam, by Mitch Markowitz

193. "Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici – by the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe." — The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus, by Christopher Marlowe

194. "Believe that everything is for / you until you discover / that you are for it." — The Robin and the Worm, by Don Marquis

195. "A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself." — Don Marquis

196. "I get up in the morning with an idea for a three-volume novel and by nightfall it's a paragraph in my column." — Don Marquis

197. "If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll hate you." — Don Marquis

198. "Ideas pull the trigger, but instincts load the gun." — Don Marquis

199. "Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it." — Don Marquis

200. "When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'" — Don Marquis

201. "They had known each other so long they have forgotten a lot about each other." – Shiloh, by Bobbie Ann Mason

202. "You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak." — The Absinthe Donuts Story, by Tucker Max

203. "When peace comes we will perhaps in time be able to forgive the Arabs for killing our sons, but it will be harder for us to forgive them for having forced us to kill their sons." — Golda Meir (Press conference after the Six-Day War, 1967)

204. "Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull." — H.L. Mencken

205. "If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl" — H.L. Mencken

206. "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." — Winnie the Pooh, by A. A. Milne

207. "Beauty is only culture deep." — Philip Moore

208. "Many are willing to suffer for their art. Few are willing to learn to draw." — Simon Munnery

209. "What we really are, matters more than what other people think of us." — Jawaharlal Nehru

210. "There are no facts, only interpretations." — Notebooks (Summer 1886 – Fall 1887), by Friedrich Nietzsche

211. "What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil." — Aphorism 153, Beyond Good and Evil, by Friedrich Nietzsche

212. "Blessed are those who forget, for thus they surmount even their mistakes." — Friedrich Nietzsche

213. "Men only think of their past right before their death, as if they were searching frantically for proof that they were alive." — Jet Black, from Cowboy Bebop, written by Keiko Nobumoto

214. "I believe… [that] whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you…stranger." — Heath Ledger, the Joker, from The Dark Knight, by Christopher & Jonathan Nolan

215. "Look, I'm a pop star… I'm very busy. I do not have time to learn how to play a musical instrument." — Phil Oakey, of The Human League

216. "Separate the art from the artist." — Jasper Ostrom

217. "Power to the reasonable." — Jasper Ostrom

218. "LA is a billboard on its side." — Jasper Ostrom

219. "On a large enough time line, the survival rate for everyone will drop to zero." — Fight Club, by Chuck Palahniuk

220. "I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not deter or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." — William Penn

221. "To die would be an awfully big adventure." — Peter Pan

222. "No human thing is of serious importance." — Book X, by Plato

223. "No one is more hated than he who speaks the truth." — Plato

224. "Death is not the worst that can happen to men." — Laws, by Plato

225. "The unexamined life is not worth living." — Socrates, from The Apology, by Plato

226. "In ancient times, cats were worshiped as gods. They have never forgotten this." — Terry Pratchett

227. "If you wait till the last minute, it'll only take a minute." — Procrastinator's Credo

228. "Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet." — African proverb

229. "The path is made by walking." — African proverb

230. "He who asks is a fool for five minutes. But he who does not ask remains a fool forever." — Chinese proverb

231. "A paragraph should be like a lady's skirt: long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep it interesting." — English proverb

232. "Piscem natare doces – you teach a fish to swim." — Latin proverb

233. "Quod erat demonstrandum (QED) – I rest my case." — Latin proverb

234. "Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur – anything said in Latin sounds profound." — Latin proverb

235. "Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours." — Swedish proverb

236. "Those quotations were really quite obscure. Anyone can see that he is a very well-read man." — Barbara Pym

237. "There was no difference between the behavior of a god and the operations of pure chance." — Gravity's Rainbow, by Thomas Pynchon

238. "I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. [Life is a] delicious ambiguity." — Gilda Radner

239. "Man has been on a bad trip for a long time now. It is called THE CURSE OF GREYFACE." — Principia Discordia by Malaclypse the Younger and Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst

240. "Life's greatest achievement is the continual re-making of yourself so that you at last you know how to live." — Winfred Rhodes

241. "Welcome to Bazooka Works. Halogen Halo Eyesore. The revolution will not be apologized for." — We're Famous, from Bazooka Tooth, by Aesop Rock

242. "Life's not a bitch, life is a beautiful woman. You only call her a bitch 'cause she won't let you get that pussy. Maybe she didn't feel y'all shared any similar interests. Or maybe you're just an asshole who couldn't sweet talk the princess." — Daylight, from Labor Days, by Aesop Rock

243. "If you want to push then I'm ready to push, but if you're pulling while I'm pushing then why'd you ask me to push." — I'll Be OK, from Float, by Aesop Rock

244. "Look. I've never had a dream in my life 'cause a dream is what you wanna do but still haven't pursued. I knew what I wanted and did it 'til it was done, so I've been the dream that I wanted to be since day one." — No Regrets, from Labor Days, by Aesop Rock

245. "Ya'll motherfuckas stand up / Volunteer tangents while ya plan something / vivid." — Shovel, from Labor Days, by Aesop Rock

246. "It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew." — Henry Rollins

247. "I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean for any who thinks it unclean." — Romans 14:14

248. "You never know what's coming for you." — The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (film), by Eric Roth

249. "The absence of evidence is not necessarily the evidence of absence." — Donald Rumsfeld

250. "The highest reward for man's toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it." — John Ruskin

251. "There is scope for inventiveness everywhere if only we have the vision to perceive it. The breakers-away are the creators." — Victoria Sackville-West

252. "The trouble with girls is, if they like a boy, no matter how big a bastard he is, they'll say he has an inferiority complex, and if they don't like him, no matter how nice a guy he is, or how big an inferiority complex he has, they'll say he's conceited. Even smart girls do it." — Holden Caulfield, from The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger

253. "It's partly true, too, but it isn't all true. People always think something's all true." — Holden Caulfield, from Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger

254. "I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going but I'm on [my] way." — Carl Sandburg

255. "I was never interested in the obvious, or in the details one takes for granted, and everybody seemed to be addicted to the obvious, being astonished by it, and forever harping about the details which I had long ago weighted, measured, and discarded as irrelevant and useless. If you can measure it, don't. If you can weigh it, it isn't worth the bother. It isn't what you're after. It isn't going to get it. My wisdom was visual and as swift as vision. I looked, I saw, I understood, I felt, 'That's that, where do we go from here?'" — William Saroyan

256. "I have always been a Laugher, disturbing people who are not Laughers, upsetting whole audiences at theatres…I laugh, that's all. I love to laugh. Laughter to me is being alive. I have had rotten times, and I have laughed through them. Even in the midst of the very worst times I have laughed." — William Saroyan

257. "Happiness is a warm puppy." — Charles M. Schulz

258. "There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin" — Linus Van Pelt, from The Peanuts, by Charles Schulz

259. "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia." — Charles Schulz

260. "You know you're in love when you can't sleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." — Dr. Seuss

261. "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." — Shakespeare's Hamlet

262. "There are things on heaven and earth, Horatio, man was not meant to know." — Shakespeare's Hamlet

263. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." — Shakespeare's Hamlet

264. "My father used to say: 'The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle.'" — The Rabbi, from Lucky Number Slevin, by Jason Smilovic

265. "What is the answer? [No response] In that case, what is the question?" — Last words of Gertrude Stein

266. "No one wants advice – only corroboration." — John Steinbeck

267. "Don’t like my peaches / Don’t shake my tree / Get out my orchard / Let my peaches be / And now she’s gone / But I don’t worry / ‘Cus I’m sitting on top of the world." — Sitting On Top of the World, by The Mississippi Sheiks

268. "All men have hearts, and each heart has its own leaning." — Shintoism

269. "Fear? What has a man to do with fear? Chance rules our lives, and the future is all unknown. Best live as we may, from day to day." — Jocasta, Oedipus Rex, by Sophocles

270. "When I have tried and failed, I shall have failed" — Antigone, Antigone, by Sophocles

271. "It is a painful thing to look at your own trouble and know that yourself and no one else has made it." — Sophocles

272. "The confusion of which you speak is the death-throes of an old system." — The Confusion, by Neal Stephenson

273. "Bring the noise." — Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson

274. "To become what we are capable of becoming is the only end in life." — Robert Louis Stevenson

275. "There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it behooves all of us not to talk about the rest of us." — Robert Louis Stevenson

276. "Credo quia absurdum – I believe because it is irrational." — Tertullian

277. "It's a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die." — Gonzo Papers, by Hunter S. Thompson, Vol. 2: Generation of Swine: Tales of Shame and Degradation in the 80’s

278. "It is better to ask some of the questions than to know all the answers." — James Thurber

279. "Many are the strange chances of the world…and help oft shall come from the hands of the weak when the Wise falter." — The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien

280. "I wished to live deliberately…and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear… I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life." — Walden, by Henry David Thoreau

281. "There is more at stake here than our lives." — Alamo Pep Talk, by Col. Travis

282. "I'm just killing the spiders to save the butterflies." — Millions Knives, from Trigun

283. "When in doubt tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends." — Following the Equator, by Mark Twain

284. "All right, then, I'll go to hell!" — Huck Finn, from the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

285. "Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." — Mark Twain

286. "If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of star dust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. Properly the Jew ought hardly to be heard of, but he is heard of, has always been heard of. He is as prominent on the planet as any other people, and his commercial importance is extravagantly out of proportion to the smallness of his bulk. His contributions to the world's list of great names in literature, science, art, music, finance, medicine, and abstruse learning are also away out of proportion to the weakness of his numbers. He has made a marvelous fight in the world, in all the ages; and has done it with his hands tied behind him. He could be vain of himself, and be excused for it. The Egyptian, the Babylonian, and the Persian rose, filled the planet with sound and splendor, then faded to dream-stuff and passed away; the Greek and the Roman followed, and made a vast noise, and they are gone; other peoples have sprung up and held their torch high for a time, but it burned out, and they sit in twilight now, or have vanished. The Jew saw them all, beat them all, and is now what he always was, exhibiting no decadence, no infirmities of age, no weakening of his parts, no slowing of his energies, no dulling of his alert and aggressive mind. All things are mortal but the Jew; all other forces pass, but he remains. What is the secret of his immortality?" — Mark Twain, from Harper's Magazine, September 1899

287. "The mark of a moderate man is freedom from his own ideas." — Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tzu

288. "The highest good, like water, benefits many things, yet occupies dark places men despise." — Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tzu

289. "The ability to let that which does not matter…truly slide." — Fight Club (film), by Jim Uhls

290. "Self-improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction…" — Fight Club (film), by Jim Uhls

291. "Dogs have masters. Cats have staff." — Unknown

292. "See you some other never." — Unknown

293. "Keep on keeping on." — Unknown

294. "If the left half of the brain controls the right hand, and the right half the left, then left-handed people are the only ones in their right minds." — Unknown

295. "…And it has the added virtue of being true." — Unknown

296. "Easy reading is damn hard writing, and vice versa." — Unknown

297. "Together since the world began, the madman and the lover." — Unknown, found by Allied troops written on a latrine wall at Dachau concentration camp

298. "When I saw you, I was afraid of meeting you. When I met you, I was afraid of kissing you. When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I'm afraid of losing you." — Unknown

299. "Love is like the moon. It rotates around the Earth and follows it until the end of time. So does love." — Unknown

300. "you're not content with happiness / because, well, / who fucking writes about happiness?" — now you're setting fires., from Coma Therapy, by Eric Victorino

301. "I always made one prayer to God, which is extremely short, 'O God, make my enemies ridiculous,' and God granted it." — Letters, by Voltaire (variant translation)

302. "'You hate America, don't you?' she said, 'that would be as silly as loving it,' I said. 'It's impossible for me to get emotional about it, because real estate doesn't interest me. It's no doubt a great flaw in my personality, but I can't think in terms of boundaries. Those imaginary lines are as unreal to me as elves and pixies. I can't believe that they mark the end or the beginning of anything of real concern to the human soul. Virtues and vices, pleasures and pains cross boundaries at will.'" — Mother Night, by Kurt Vonnegut

303. "This is my principal objection to life, I think: It is too easy, when alive, to make perfectly horrible mistakes." — Deadeye Dick, by Kurt Vonnegut

304. "True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country." — Kurt Vonnegut

305. "Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college." — A Man Without A Country, by Kurt Vonnegut

306. "I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all." — The Sirens of Titan, by Kurt Vonnegut

307. "I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center." — Player Piano, by Kurt Vonnegut

308. "'Can you see anything in the dark, with your sunglasses on?' she asked me. 'The big show is inside my head,' I said" — Breakfast of Champions, by Kurt Vonnegut

309. "If you can do no good, at least do no harm." — Kurt Vonnegut, Slapstick

310. "My father said 'When in doubt, castle.'" — A Man Without A Country, by Kurt Vonnegut

311. "Artists use lies to tell the truth while politicians use them to cover the truth up." — Evey Hammond, from V for Vendetta (film), by The Wachowski Brothers

312. "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." — Andy Warhol

313. "As soon as you stop wanting something you get it." — Andy Warhol

314. "It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning." — Calvin, from Calvin and Hobbes, by Bill Watterson

315. "It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy, ol' pal…Let's go exploring!" — Calvin, from Calvin and Hobbes, by Bill Watterson

316. "I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information." — Calvin, from Calvin and Hobbes, by Bill Watterson

317. "History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices." — Calvin, from Calvin and Hobbes, by Bill Watterson

318. "Calvin: you can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Hobbes: what mood is that?
Calvin: last-minute panic." — Calvin to Hobbes, from Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Watterson

319. "Leave it to a girl to take all the fun out of sex discrimination." — Calvin, from Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Watterson

320. "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." — Calvin, from Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Watterson

321. "It's not denial. I'm just very selective about the reality I accept." — Calvin, from Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Watterson

322. "There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it." — Edith Wharton

323. "I and mine do not convince by arguments, similes, rhymes, we convince by our presence." — Song of the Open Road, by Walt Whitman

324. "I give you fair warning before you attempt me further, I am not what you supposed, but far different." — Calamus, by Walt Whitman

325. "These are really the thoughts of all men in all ages and lands, they are not original in me." — Song of Myself, by Walt Whitman

326. "All seems beautiful to me." — Song of the Open Road, by Walt Whitman

327. "Do you know so much yourself that you call the meanest ignorant?" — I Sing the Body Electric, by Walt Whitman

328. "From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, going where I list, my own master total and absolute, listening to others, considering well what they say, pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me." — Song of the Open Road, by Walt Whitman

329. "Education is an admirable thing. But it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." — A Few Maxims For The Instruction Of The Over-Educated, by Oscar Wilde

330. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." — Lady Windermere's Fan, by Oscar Wilde

331. "A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on." — The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde

332. "Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship." — Lady Windermere's Fan, by Oscar Wilde

333. "Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it." — Lady Windermere’s Fan, by Oscar Wilde

334. "He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realise." — Oscar Wilde

335. "No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist." — The Decay of Lying, by Oscar Wilde

336. "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit." — The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde

337. "Each time that one loves is the only time one has ever loved." — The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde

338. "You do not know shit about fuck, my man." — Robin Williams

339. "Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club." — www.chucknorrisfacts.com

340. "Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves." — www.chucknorrisfacts.com

341. "Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris." — www.chucknorrisfacts.com

342. "Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants." — www.chucknorrisfacts.com

343. "Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding." — www.chucknorrisfacts.com

344. "Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one." — www.chucknorrisfacts.com

345. "Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door." — www.chucknorrisfacts.com

346. "Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple." — www.chucknorrisfacts.com

347. "Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked." — www.chucknorrisfacts.com

348. "There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris." — www.chucknorrisfacts.com

349. "Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi." — www.chucknorrisfacts.com

350. "The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, an exhibition match vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime." — www.chucknorrisfacts.com

351. "When small men begin to cast big shadows, it means the sun is about to set." — Lin Yutang

352. "Most men will have sex with any woman to whom he is attracted and who wants to have sex with him without requiring much effort or risk. Most women will only have sex with a man to whom she is very attracted, who she can sleep with and not feel like or be perceived as a 'slut' for doing so, who is willing/able to jump through her required hoops first, and then only if her legs are shaven, it is not 'that time of the month,' she doesn't feel fat, she doesn't have a headache or the sniffles, she is wearing the right type of outfit/underwear, and she doesn't have to get up early the next day." — John Ziegler

I love words like most people love themselves, their family, their friends. I love words so much that I have dedicated my whole life to studying them, expressing them, putting the whole point of my existence behind their potential for beauty and meaning in a life that has been beaten, bruised, and pushed to the brink of everything.



I love words because they are the only way I can talk to you.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Summertime


And the living is easy.



So happy to be done with this semester and able to do all the nothing I want. Finally have the time to spend. Finally can be the bumtastic lazy hobo-child I always imagined being. Play video-games all day, read trashy-fantasy novels all night. Eat fast-food for breakfast, and pancakes for dinner. Sleep till 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Stay up till 6 o'clock in the morning. Wear sweat-pants all the time. Watch movies online for hours. Make love during the full moon. Write more than is really necessary. And play enough music to piss off my neighbors for sure.

Top five songs about summertime:

1. Mungo Jerry, In the Summertime



2. Martha & the Vandellas, Dancing in the Streets



3. Billie Holiday, Summertime



4. The Lovin' Spoonful, Summer In the City



5. The Beach Boys, Good Vibrations



There are others - so many others - but these are my top five. What do ya'll have for yours?

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Lists




I like lists - no, scratch that. I love lists. Grocery lists, to-do lists, birthday gift lists, top-five desert-island lists, sex-history lists, worst television shows of 2001 lists, I can't get enough of them. I can list shit for days, churning out a constant stream of etc and so on like practical examples of rote summary.

Recently been frequenting a site called Listverse. < http://listverse.com/ > It gets the official Saboteur Academia seal of approval, because it not only contains unique and unusual knowledge, but it also does so in a manner more entertaining/tolerable than contemporary education.

Some great lists they have:

Top 10 Hidden Images Found In Cartoons. Details the sexually subversive nature of Disney cartoons especially.

Top 10 People Rumored To Be Alive After Death. From Tupac to Elvis, some people just won't stay dead - even when they really are dead!

10 More Fascinating Facts That Are Wrong. My favorite is that Hitler WASN'T actually a vegetarian or teetotaler.

10 More Ultimate Rivalries. Ninja vs Pirate, Coyote vs Roadrunner, and Kasparov vs Deep Blue. I love rivalries; they're so seriously silly.

10 Incredibly Bizarre Sexual Practices. Includes things like autopederasty and teratophilia, which, if you know what they mean, are some fucked-up shit.

10 Great Post-Apocalyptic Science Fiction Novels. I love sci-fi books, and I especially love sci-fi books about possible futures that could actually happen! The apocalypse could be here tomorrow guys... if it weren't already tomorrow in Australia.



Anyhoo, check out the site and contribute to the comments section on your favorite lists! Cheers

Friday, May 15, 2009

Craigslist has the answer AND the question


I really need to stop reading Craigslist this much. It only encourages, then depresses me. But yet, I can't stop, because I need the facsimile of commonality with the world outside my bed/room/apartment/neighborhood/city/state/country/planet.

Here is another "best of" ad from CL, and oh-boy is it a doozy. This guy is having the exact same experience that I do, each and every semester since starting my college education. Gotta love cross-country irony.



"An open letter to all the girls at Pitt who stare at me - m4w

Date: 2009-01-10, 2:31AM EST

OK, let me precursor this post with clarification and some self defecation. I am in no way the sexiest dude on campus. Not even close. There are so many studs in Oaktown its overwhelming. Every once in awhile I'll see a guy so dripping in testosterone and pure man that I consider switching teams just to cock (pussy?) block girls. Those dudes make the game tough for guys like me. They create unhealthy standards for girls which leads to sudden rejection in game-kicking situations.

With that said, I'm not the most unpleasing thing to look at in town. Sometimes I surprise myself when I catch a glimpse in the mirror. Who IS that handsome devil? I'm on the short side, probably a little too much hair, sometimes I dress funny (look, I really like comic books. yes, still). I got my flaws, who doesn't? In additon I have what some might describe a bad personalioty. I get mean, not angry, I just really love to cut up on people. But this isn't at ALL about personality...

GIRLS WHO ATTEND THE UNIVERSITY OF PITTSBURGH AND ESPECIALLY THOSE IN MY CLASSES

STOP STARING AT ME!

No really, its makes me edgy and distracts the hell out of my small male brain. LOOK, its not like I'm not flattered, we met eyes, cool, I'm fine with that. Just stop repeatedly looking in my direction! The thing is there wouldn't even be a problem if something ever happened from this, but after at least 5 years deep in the eye contact game I find it all to be pointless. Look down, look up, shut your eyes, pay attention to the teacher, stare at girls, just not me!

And stop the games!! I mean this girl today looked in my direction 9 times (I counted) sitting next to me. Why was that? Cause she caught me checking her out when she sat down, so what, its what guys do, big whoop, wanna fight about it? The point is she just looked, and got weird about it after awhile.

Or how about the girl you catch staring and she looks away really quick on some, oh i was scratching my ear crap. Or the one who gets caught and gives YOU the evil eye. YOU'RE THE PERVERT, HAG (nice rack)!!!

Or the times you catch a girls eye and shes absolutely gorgeous, waaay out of your league, and you get excited, then she KEEPS doing it, and in a cute little way where she's acting like she's real shy. Then you remember, ohwait, I'm me. And you're convinced its a trick, then you're like maybe I'm just exactly what she likes, shes into darker guys or something. Or maybe she notices the new Jordans. Then you wait until the end of class, where she dips out of the classroom before anyone and is out of the building before you can get a good look at her booty.

This isn't exclusive to classrooms either. Common areas, eateries, bars, parties, YOUR FRIEND'S HOUSE (yes you, K) and EVERYWHERE are applicable.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY...I do not want responses to this saying, "well you should just approach the girls, pussy". NO. NO. Screw putting myself out there. I'm a little shy but I'm no turtle, I just hate getting shot down even if its with the famous ooh-sorry-I-have-a-boyfriend excuse. Its time for girls to STEP THEIR GAME UP. I rarely receive compliments, flirting seems to have fallen out of style. If a girl ever asked me to do something or hang out I might spray her down with a hose because I'd be convinced she was a android from the future, or the devil.

So ladies, next time you see something across the room you can't keep your eyes off of, GO OVER AND PICK IT UP. "

Feel bad for you sir, but that's the way it goes these days. Women blame men for the problems that women create themselves, and because we're men, we try fixing them anyways. Actually, not even that, both genders fuck up, but whereas guys know this, girls seem to be surprised by it. Sweetheart, is it really impossible to imagine that you're just not good when it comes to men? You don't approach, or flirt, or talk, or fuck like you give a damn. Maybe its from all the other men you've had to deal with, the douchebags and bastard sons of bitches. But do you really expect a good guy to look past the flaws you yourself won't look past in us? Want a nice guy? Be a nice girl. Reciprocate and initiate. It's not that hard (that's what she said!); we've been doing this a long time ladies, so we should know.



I'm just saying.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

More evidence that people should not have kids


So, I was trolling through the nets like usual, when I e-stumble onto this website called, "Why the fuck do you have a kid?"

It was amazing.

[now uploading content for your viewing pleasure]


"becuz baby doesn’t mind waiting outside while Mommy has her picture taken"



"becuz u just needed to run into the store for a second"



"becuz baby can just sit in the sink doing blow all night while u go out in the club and dance til ur skirt falls off"




"becuz these gurls ain't promiscuous"



"because every1 needs a reason to get out of gym class"


"becuz there’s always room for one more"



"becuz car seats r over r8ed"

Oh, for the love of double western bacon cheeseburger sandwiches, I can't stop laughing at this. Talk about good reasons for birth control and ending over population. What is wrong with these people? I have no idea, but bless them Geebus, because no one else will. And praise the internet, for delivering, yet again, the finest in quality entertainment, idiocy, and degradation. Please, go check out the site for yourself.

< http://whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com/ >

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Fuck me? No fuck you!


The saddest thing about this clip, and with cynical pessimistic yet educated and eloquent main characters in general, is that I agree with them about 99% of the time. That's like, the amount of bacteria killed by counter-cleaners, the rate of effectiveness for condoms, or the likelihood that Britney Spears got a breast enhancement after her album went triple platinum.

Anyways, the clip is from The 25th hour, and illustrates misanthropy at its best. Enjoy.



And this is why I like Ed Norton.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Where do circles begin?

At the center? The outside? From some indeterminable point that only the circler knows?



The hidden mathematical inconstancy, and I wish I had more answers than these questions. The back of the book doesn't have odds or evens, just more equations, just more x equals y to the nth power multiplied by my loneliness, divided by each new lover, and rounded down to the nearest prime number of whatever age I was before any these problems started to matter.

I am listening to the last gasp of humanity from some corner-store cashier who talks for thirty minutes after I gave him my money about the wife that left him with two kids but took the dog, how he still masturbates to her picture super-imposed over the bodies of porn-stars, because photo-shop makes life that much easier, and would I like a bag? No thanks. I'm not going very far.

I am watching the last impotent fist of compassion as a cab-driver pulls over to stop four kids from beating the shit out of some homeless-man. He honks his horn, looks over with a serious face and passionately mutters. Never gets out of the car. The kids never stop kicking. Meanwhile, hobo bastard bleeds all over the gutter-drain and nobody calls the cops because why should they care? I just want to go home, sir.

I am feeling the last touch of True Love as an elderly couple holds hands in the park and feed the ducks, tossing crumb after measly crumb into a circle-jerk of honks and quacks and snapping beaks. The lady just leans her head on his shoulder and the man just leans right back and they fall asleep just like that, letting the bag of bread fall down off their laps. They don't wake up when this sends the gathered fowls into a feeding-frenzy. They die before the last piece is even eaten off the ground.

I am the last tear-drop crying down the faces of all these strangers who won't let you see them blink them back, pretending to be dry-eyes in a desert, devoid of humanity, emotionless staring back at you and me.

I am last, the left behind, bereft of everything except the days unlived, tomorrow and tomorrow...



This is fiction. This is a metaphor. This is completely contrived. This is only true in theory. This is not to be taken too seriously. This is for your enjoyment, because sadness entertains so much better when nobody feels anything anymore.

Goodnight dear reader.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Sexual Liberation / Emotional Vacancy




Been thinking a lot about Erica Jong lately.

Not just because I sent someone a quote by her, but mostly in general. Been thinking about the stuff she wrote, about the "sexually liberated woman". Y'know, that woman who grows as a person without needing a man, without being tied down by her gender, without having to excuse herself for enjoying sex, for being equal to men - and especially for being better than men - for being totally free, unafraid of flying completely...

Remember the whole "Sexual Revolution" everyone talked about back in the 60's? Condoms, the pill, birth control, free love! Protected sex, unprotected sex, abortions, "my body", Roe v. Wade, and all that shit. We fought a war over our culture, to promote that masturbation, homosexuality, pre-martial sex, and other acts conceived to be "morally wrong" at that time, were in fact not. We won. The kids - our parents and elders now - kicked ass and took names to fight for their right to paaaaaaaaaaartaaaaaaaay! And party they did. They sucked and fucked and didn't die of AIDS or Syphilis. (Unfortunately, we in the present can, and do.)

Despite whatever Christian reactionary you see on television, or new faith-based initiative brought up in Congress, we slowly, but surely, changed and became more accepting of sex, sexuality, the whole thing.







Now, I've indulged myself in these new-found freedoms, to masturbate without feeling guilty, without worrying about hairy-palms or going blind, to fuck or make love with whoever I want and not get her pregnant, and not even have to call her back the next day, to be comfortable with homosexuality without worrying that "I might catch it", to think lesbians are HOT, to have sex that isn't missionary positional style. I've drowned myself in the sensations and myriad actions available and allowed - and some that might not be, strictly speaking, "decent". But I did them.

How does all this connect back to Erica Jong? Well, I was thinking about being one of those "sexually liberated people", and the whole "sexual revolution", and how everyone thought, "Yes! We're free! Finally we can do all the things we ever wanted - fuck, suck, love whatever, whoever we so desire." They went crazy for a time, living all the things denied to them for so long. And now, here I am, decades later, trying to embrace the zeitgeist, but unable to. Because while everyone else might enjoy this lightness of being, I find it unbearable. I find it empty.

We fought so hard to do whatever we wanted, and now I find that behind the walls that kept us from doing them, there's nothing there but a vast space filled with etched and faded bedsheet memories, with stale perfume, with cracked lipstick on my cheek and a few long blonde hairs left on my pillow. I expected freedom to fill me up, but instead all I encountered was an overwhelming emptiness. Erica Jong's vision of the world, of the way women (and by proxy, men) could be, should be, has turned from dream to nightmare. The "sexual revolution" that they fought, we fought, bursting through the walls of impotence, of ignorance and false morality, only brought us Viagra and internet pornography and KY jelly.

I despair at this, and ask you: is this what we were fighting for? This is what everyone's been so mad to have? After all the struggle and pain, this is it? Fuck. Did we really win at all?



I quit.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Naked, by Mike Leigh




Another reason why the British people are funnier than we are when it comes to things like drama and shit.

The movie was recommended to me by my Netflix account, based on films I'd seen and rated in the past. It was a gamble - only guessed I'd give it 3 stars - but what the hell, I'll take a chance. And thank bloody Jesus H Christ I did. This movie is right up my alley: British accents, morally questionable sexual encounters, random acts of violence, thinly veiled psychological disorders, and a main-character who can only be described as a fatalistic nihilist with misogynistic tendencies that cannot quite conceal a highly educated and eloquent mind. And the lines! Oh, the lines... they are so awesome, so hilarious, so awesomely hilarious that even a raging-core feminist would laugh. This film is witty as fuck.

Let me share some of my favorite quotes that I picked up.



"Do you think that the amoeba ever dreamed that it would evolve into the frog? Of course it didn't. And when that first frog shimmied out of the water and employed its vocal cords in order to attract a mate or to retard a predator, do you think that that frog ever imagined that that incipient croak would evolve into all the languages of the world, into all the literature of the world? Of course it fucking didn't. And just as that froggy could never possibly have conceived of Shakespeare, so we can never possibly imagine our destiny."

"Do you think you can recapture your youth by fuckin' it? You don't want to fuck me, you'll catch something cruel."

"Was I bored? No, I wasn't fuckin' bored. I'm never bored. That's the trouble with everybody – you're all so bored. You've 'ad nature explained to you, and you're bored with it. You've 'ad the living body explained to you, and you're bored with it. You've 'ad the universe explained to you, and you're bored with it. So now you just want cheap thrills and like plenty of 'em, and it dun matter 'ow tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it's new…as long as it flashes and fucking bleeps in forty different colours. Well, whatever else you can say about me, I'm not fuckin' bored."

"You shouldn't stick anything up your cunt that you can't put in your mouth."



"Louise: Well, I don't know if I want to get married, but I wouldn't say no to a proper relationship.
Sophie: What is a proper relationship?
Louise: Living with someone who talks to ya after they've bonked ya."

"Louise: How did you get here?
Johnny: Well, basically, there was this little dot, right? And the dot went bang and the bang expanded. Energy formed into matter, matter cooled, matter lived, the amoeba to fish, to fish to fowl, to fowl to frog, to frog to mammal, the mammal to monkey, to monkey to man, amo amas amat, quid pro quo, memento mori, ad infinitum, sprinkle on a little bit of grated cheese and leave under the grill till Doomsday."

Sweet baby-back ribs, ain't it just funny enough to make you roll on the floor and laugh your actual, embarrassing laugh? I know I did. Could barely breath. Needed to pause the movie.



This film might not be good for your soul - in fact, it's definitely not good for your soul - but it's good for a laugh, or a cry. (Unless you're like me and can actually relate to the macabre, that black humor.) And something interesting about all of it is that the script was actually created through meetings between the actors and writer, Mike Leigh, where things were ad-libbed and then written down to be filmed later. Most people say that this means Mike Leigh is leeching off his actors, getting them to do the work, while being lazy and unimaginative. Really? Well, maybe that's true... and damned effective, if you ask me.

Anyhoo, I highly recommend watching this movie! Cheers.