Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Embarrassing myself in public

So, I don't know if ya'll know this, but I'm SUCKER for romantic-comedies. I've seen Love Actually maybe a couple dozen times, also Lars and the Real Girl, Wristcutters, Slumdog Millionaire, and Dan in Real Life.

Oh, and recently He's Just Not That In To You.

Well, first thing I noticed when I walked into the movie theatre was that I'm basically the only guy there by himself... it's all a bunch of girls with boyfriends/gayfriends/regular friends. I sit down with my popcorn, soda, and a bag of Skittles feeling about as awkward as a dangling dollop of spit on someone's chin. Seriously, it was weird and I knew that everyone there thought I must've been gay or something.

Anyways, the movie starts and it's fucking hilarious!

***Spoiler Alert***

The characters are all mid-thirties-looking upwardly mobile professionals of some sort trying to figure out their relationships - or lack thereof. And they all have at least six degrees of seperation from each other. Sounds pretty basic, right?

The thing is though, for some reason this is funny. I mean, really really funny. And if you know me, then you know when I laugh, it's loud. They should call me Laugher. The sound is something of a cross between a donkey braying and a goose honking - only worse, because it's coming from a human which tends to freak most people out. (I'm not sure why...)

At one point, Scarlett Johansson's character is trying to seduce Bradley Cooper's character and so she jumps into the pool, naked. The man is tempted - and, really, who wouldn't be? - but decides to simply watch because it'd be wrong since he's married. (He ends up caving in anyways later on in the movie.) So, in a bit of flirtatious swimming, she rises up in the water before diving down. Now, she's NAKED here, so her breasts almost come up out of the water for everyone to see. Almost.

That's when I make the loudest groan ever. Or moan... it was a grmoan. It was a grmoan of longing frustration at nearly having seen something as impossibly amazing as the boobs of Scarlett Johansson. Except, I did it out loud. In a crowded theatre. EVERYONE heard me and started busting up laughing! There was just an explosion, and the epicenter was my humiliation.

Yep, I am really that much of a loser that I'm THAT guy, even in a dark theatre.

But there was something else that the movie talked about that I wanted to bring up. Later on, Ginnifer Goodwin's character has this big speech after being rejected by this guy - played by Justin Long - she thought was into her only to cruelly slap her down. She talks about how maybe she's awkward and makes stupid mistakes and gets hurts, but she's still closer than he will ever be to finding Love, because she cares. She cares enough to do the stupid shit, to play with the fire and get burned. She is, after all the heartbreaks, still a human being, while everyone else just plays the game because they've given-up.

Now, is that not just fucking strange? To see a real gem, nay jewel, of philosophical insight into the modern day problems with people looking for Love. I mean, it's completely obvious to anyone with a brain, but seeing it there in a movie like other people knew about it... I was amazed. I was flabbergasted. I was vindicated like a motherfucker.

I KNEW I was right to be this insanely suicidal about loving someone.

4 footnotes:

Andruba said...

I wish I couldve been there to experience your.... experience with you. I'm laughing right now and i wasnt even there.

Zek J Evets said...

it was not one of my coolest moments.

but, i think i saw a nip-slip, at least.

Lex said...

No one ever said that loving that way wasn't right. It's just not good for you sometimes.

lol at the groan. It takes talent to do that to yourself.

Zek J Evets said...

this is true. it is dangerous... but so is waking up in the morning.

and yeah, i am SO talented at embarrassing myself, haha.