Saturday, February 14, 2009

2012 is: The Slutocalypse

I have lost all faith in the next generation.

And myself for watching them.

This marks the death of childhood and the birth of childhoochie. I'm crying inside for all the future date-rape victims of the world, for all the parents who will find out their coworkers are masturbating to their daughters during downtime. I am crying for all the over-assed dance moves and tissue-paper filled bras.

These girls represent the young slut before her prime. Soon she will grow real breasts, and her dance moves will not look cute for trying but straight-up whore-style. Her hope is to suck dick better than her friends, so they can't steal her man. She will listen to Britney Spears unironically, and think Lil' Wayne is actually hip-hop. Then, one day you will fall in love with her "come fuck me" eyes, but she'll break your heart by getting falling-down drunk and hooking up with a random guy.

God help us all.

***This is pedo-approved content***

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