Saturday, November 29, 2008

Something random

It's been a while since my last post, and usually when I come back from a little hiatus, I always seem to make a superserious post that rants & rambles for pages upon pages.

I'm not going to do that this time.

There's plenty of time to write about the sad things that have happened/are happening recently in my life. But for now, I don't want to talk to you about that. Let's be like levity - light and care-free.

I went to see that new Transporter movie on Wednesday. (And if you know me, you know I usually go to movies by myself because I'm the WORST guy to sit next to in the theatre.) Overall, it was...okay. I mean, it was action-packed, and easy to watch, but obviously you don't go to a movie like that expecting to see something that makes you think. Mostly I saw it because I like Jason Statham. If only he'd go back to playing random english-people in Guy Ritchie films...*sigh*

But forget about the movie. That wasn't the random thing that happened.

So, to watch the movie I bought a large popcorn, large soda, and a box of those lil' buncha-crunchas. (SO delicious to mix chocolate with buttery, supersalty popcorn.) And there I am, silent as a baby-angel - for once - just eating my popcorn and watching the movie. The thing is, the popcorn they gave me was some bottom of the barrel bullshit that had more kernals than corn. I had to shake the bag a bit to get the good pieces to come up to the top.

Now, there was this hipster-looking guy sitting in front of me to the left. And I have NO IDEA how he could hear me eating my popcorn because the movie is so loud I couldn't feel my phone-vibrating in my back-pocket. But he does.

And he's pissed. He turns back twice to yell at me. (Yeah, he yells and says I'm making too much noise.) I tell him sorry, I'm just trying to eat my popcorn and watch the movie. The second time I tell him to leave me alone and let me watch the movie. The third time...he gets up out of his seat and snatches my popcorn from my lap and flings it out towards the front row.

Whoa. What is this guy's problem? A succession of thoughts/scenarios go through my head: 1) did he just fucking take my shit? 2) that popcorn costs like ten bucks! 3) I should beat the ever-loving shit out of his fixed-gear riding, chestless-shirt wearing, electro music listening pampered ass 4) wait, wait, wait - what are we, in elementary school? i'm gonna fight someone because he took my bag of popcorn? 5) does this make me a wuss? 6) I wonder what everyone else is thinking...

ANYWAYS, then he sits back down, and everyone just kinda edges around in their seats before going back to watching the movie. I do the same. (Though I keep a close eye on the guy in case he decides I'm DRINKING too loudly.) Before the movie ends he leaves and I just shake my head. After the movie I get to talking with this couple who're joking about, "some violent dude at Transporter 3." We laugh for a bit and then I head home.

What kind of a douchebag goes to a movie and gets violently mad to hear popcorn and eating sounds? IT'S A FUCKING MOVIE. Did you expect to hear crickets playing you a serenade of Harlem Noctourne? Sometimes people just suck.

I was a little proud that I didn't do anything. (Though I wanted to.) I'm a pretty controlled and easy-going guy. I get upset, pissed off, and so on, but I don't go around taking it out on complete strangers. Maybe the guy was having a bad day? Maybe he got dumped? Maybe there was something else going on with him that you just wouldn't know to look at him in his Pumas and dinner-jacket. You really can't tell with people, I guess.

After thinking about it for a little while though, I had this devilish idea that I should've taken my drink cup and poured the whole thing over his motherfucking head and then walk out. Would that've been a bitch move? Maybe. But the bastard did ruin my movie a little, and my movie-snack.

Meh! I just take it as one of the million other random things that happend to me everyday. Welcome to the monkey-house. Please sign your name next to the shit & banana peels.

2 footnotes:

Andruba said...

That story was totally worth the week long wait to see you finally post something again. Sorry about the popcorn.

Lex said...

That's why I carry pepper spray, it's nice that you're not violent we need people like you to bring balance to the world.