Sunday, November 9, 2008

Missed me?

Sorry it's been awhile since my last post. (But I did tell you to expect a slowdown for this month.) What with the moving, and the working, and the adventures, and the reaaally emotional phone conversations, my life has been more than a little bit hectic.

Sometimes I wish things had a basic routine, or a pattern. Sure, it would get boring after awhile, but when your life doesn't give you time to get comfortable, you start to appreciate a little stability every now and then. It's that whole "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence" thing.

My new apartment is AMAZING. My roommates are pretty cool chicks, and their cat is too adorable for me to hate - most of the time. I've got a bigger space, my own bathroom, carpet-floors so my feet don't get cold when I get out of bed in the morning, AND we have cable. (Only five channels though.)

Downsides: no wireless internet yet, and I'm starting to find cat hair in places I didn't think the cat could get to, let alone shed! Also, I'm a bit awkward about walking around shirtless - as is my wont to do - since I don't want to violate that whole "decency" thing guys are supposed to practice around girls so they don't get grossed out at our secret slobiness.

What else is going on? Well, I've prepared a slew of new blog-ideas for winter break. So you can expect a plethora of posts to make up for this mid-semester lag. Call it your Chanukkah gifts, my loyal & silent readers. (Seriously, why don't you people post more comments? Sometimes I forget people actually read this thing and I end up acting like it's my journal - which can be bad.) Also, the book IS still coming along, like "the little engine that could", and you can definitely expect it by the end of this year. I hope.

Status updates aside, there's not much to write about... It's funny, I've been so focused on only two things this semester that I've almost forgotten about all the other stuff I like to do. I've been so busy trying to hold onto them that I got a version of tunnel-vision - we'll call it tunnel-clutch-vision. To the exclusion of all else, y'know? Is it possible to forget how to live sometimes? Can we lose ourselves in something, and when we come back out be someone else that we're really not?

It seems these past couple weeks I've remembered things I thought I lost, forgot a long time ago. Okay, let me be embarrassingly honest: I've laughed harder than I have for a long time, I said & did the right thing, then I said & did the wrong thing, I made new friends (finally!), and I finally cried again, for the second time in YEARS. (There was this one other time, but I was reaaally drunk so I don't think it count.)

I'm not really sure what's going to happen next. I've got a hundred different plans, back-up plans, emergency procedures, and last resorts. There are ten thousand ideas in my head but I'm here I am actually, completely making this up as I go along. It's like running flat out in the dark, exhilarating to stop seeing and just feel for once, carried by air & instinct - until you crash into a tree, crack your skull and bleed to death.

Gawd, I'm fucking morbid, huh?

3 footnotes:

Andruba said...

they're your roomates. they're gonna find the slobby part of you sooner or later. go shirtless.

Lex said...

I agree with the fact that they're going to find the slobby part of you and your blog does get read. It's just that sometimes, there really isn't much to say about what you write.

Zek J Evets said...


that's the most useful piece of information anyone's ever given me about my writing.

"there really isn't much to say about what you [me] write."

huh... go figure.