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Saturday, October 18, 2008

Some Random Somethings


"She sounds like Patsy Cline, but in a bad way."

"Sorry man, I drank your beer. I was thirsty. I hope that's okay?"

"That girl is sooo drunk." "Yeah...where'd she get those beads?" "Probably the same place she got her camel-toe."

"Y'know, my girlfriend is reaaally smart. Thank gawd I'm not an idiot otherwise we'd never talk."

"Is that cardboard you're wearing?" "No, it's body-armor."

"I'm voting for McCain because of Palin." "You know she's not who's going to be president, right?" "Yeah, I know. I just think she's hott."

"My stomach doesn't feel good." "Must be the beer you're drinking." "Why do you say that?" "Because it's called Prohibition - can't be good to drink self-hating alcohol." "Oh. I don't mind if my beverage has emotional issues."

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!"

"She can't sing." "She can't dance either." "I hope she can fuck." "I dunno... She can't move her body, can't make a pleasant sound. That'd make for awkward sex, wouldn't it?" "No. I just need her to lie there."

"Can you play something that doesn't suck?" "Nope, sorry. Everything I've got is horrible. Now shut the fuck up and listen."

"I thought you quit drinking?" "That was only till I wasn't on parole anymore."

"Your mom is a red-haired, freckled woman from Russia?" "Yep." "But then how are you Jewish? I've never heard of many red-haired Russian Jews." "In Russia, there's all kinds of white people."

"I only had six dollars and forty-one cents left for this month. I bought a fourth of whiskey and this cup of tea."

"Can I bask in your glory?" "Sure...but not so close." "Thanks, man."

Life really is fucking weird sometimes.

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