Saturday, September 13, 2008

Today we live again

Congratulations!!! You didn't die in your sleep last night.

Every day you wake-up is a new day of your existence. (Existential of me, huh?) See, yesterday you got ready for the day and maybe you hit your toe, or maybe you didn't catch the bus like you usually do, or maybe someone made a randomly rude comment, or maybe your not feeling so fashionable/beautiful/handsome today. The point is, your almost-perfect day was not quite. Buuut, today - which was tomorrow - is your new chance to repeat the life you were working towards the day before. It's like hitting reset, but without the numerical "high-score".

It seems to me that people who claim to live "in the moment," who don't worry about what's happened or what's going to happen - ignoring anything remotely close to regret - are simply hiding the fact that they just want to indulge in the quick pleasures of daily existence. They'll order iced-mocha-flavored encounters; they'll sing booty&bling driven radio trash; they'll take love like fast-food. These are the people who fuck and suck dispassionately like machines, who buy shit they don't need and constantly compare their lives to reality TV, and who over time turn so completely fake that even going through the motions of sincerity becomes as half-hearted as the organ inside their chest. But don't worry - another cocktail and in an hour they'll be able to feel something. Maybe.

Then there are those people who spend all of their time working towards this one big thing, the labor of a lifetime. In their head they're so far ahead of now that you can actually seem them pull out of being inside themselves whenever someone else jostles them on the street, or asks, "is that all, sir?" These people don't ever enjoy their life because their life isn't going to really begin until twenty-to-thirty years later. Happiness to them is defined in very clear terms: house, marriage, two-point-five kids, dog or cat, soccer-scarred minivan, and a four-door luxury coupe parked on the driveway of some suburban house that will never be confused for a home. This future of defnite expectations is all it takes - they don't want a surprise or an unasked gift. But when you ask them about it, they'll always say, "someday." They're in no hurry to feel that the start of their life is just a quiet tragedy.

So, when I say Today We Live Again, I mean that today is another attempt to perfect the life you want to lead. Today you can remember your basic routine: wake-up seven-fifteen, shower, dress, starbucks with an iced-blend, office before eight, work work work, lunch thirty minutes but you'll make it twenty today, work work work, too late now for anything but something quick - Burger King, McDonald's, Wendy's, watch whatever's on TV just till you finish eating, then sleep, then reset. Or is it rinse & repeat? Funny how commericals can echo the instructions and rhythms we take for granted. Is it enculturation via advertisement or are they simply saying what we've already been told? The difference gets hard to tell when you don't even have time to go out anymore.

Or maybe your basic routine is: wake-up ten-thirty, fight the hangover, lose, get up from the toilet to the shower, meet that nice girl, ditch it for a quick trip to the bad girl's, back home, watch TV till it's time to go out, another shower, apply hair-gel, hundred-dollar jeans with holes in the pockets, collar-popped, forehead greasy as your soul, at the club no dancing just desire, grope several women, take home the one who didn't mind, fuck fuck fuck, then sleep, then reset. Or is it use daily? You're not sure what's exactly immoral nowadays because, honestly, who can tell anything after two vodka tonics and a case full of corona. (With the lime!? Yes, with the lime.) You'd have said sorry if you thought it offended somebody, but then again, you don't think you would've meant it.

Don't think this isn't cross-gender; girls, you're just as capable of being a bitch as a man is a douchebag. You spend your lives in the gym instead of in-front of the TV, but you're still alone. You still cover yourself in make-up and plastic implants and ten million diet pills, and wonder why you don't have a boyfriend. You're climbing the corporate ladder to break that whole "glass ceiling," but you don't really want the money or the work, just a little recognition. You're buying smaller clothes and cutting off circulation to your brain. You fuck so much that you can't remember what it was like to make love. And to hell with sexism - I'm not a bigot, just the Truth.

Let's try something different, shall we? Today you will wake-up and stop. You will not drink yourself into oblivion, or eat more food that's basically shit. You will not go to work you hate, or fuck people you don't really like. You will not do one single thing that is not something you want to do, love doing - and not because you think it should be, but because it really is. You will live your life if it fucking kills you. And really, compared to yesterday, what's the difference?

Every second is a lifetime when you look back, and every year ahead becomes forever.
Your singular perspective of living isn't how it's meant to be done. You're not supposed to be simple and watch only what's in front of you. Look around for once.

1 footnotes:

Lex said...

Nice. But not everyone lives like that. From someone who craves the "cycle", it's not so bad. Then again, my life was once shambles and completely shattered. So I appreciate the cycle a lot more that you seem to.

Don't take it for granted. Everyone's own life experiences directly influences how they choose to live their life. No one really has the right to bitch about their life, because they're living it according to the choices they make. We can complain about certain things but our lives as a whole...if a person is unhappy, it's up to them to change it.