Sunday, August 31, 2008

Two a days wishing

I'm a creature of few steady habits, but one that I never neglect is making a wish everytime the clock reads 11:11. I don't know how I got started with this, but I've been doing it for years in the hopes that just ONE of my wishes will come true. So far, no luck, but that just seems to make me more determined. Weird how my stubborness operates, isn't it? Succeed and I'll get lazy. Fail and you'll see more motivation than you can shake a library of self-help books at.

Anyhoo, tonight's 11:11 is special because I'm dedicating it to you past-tense persons - the people I knew. My wish is for us to meet again some day in the future and see how everything has changed...and how everything is all still the same.


Monday, August 25, 2008

Crack or Coins?

What has the world of gaming come to? I remember the days of idyllic grinding, where all you had to worry about was: which uber-item to equip next? Now, it's all become so complicated, so intensive, so beyond any sense of life-integration. You can be a gamer or a person, but never both. Why can't we just fusion, huh? (Okay, that was kinda cheesy.) Seriously, I'm tired of how much games require of you now, just to be competitive. Forget pwning, I just don't want to see "noob-status" stamped to my avatar's forehead.

I know this story is a bit dated, but it deserves a little more press (along with my opinion.) ****** These guys are actually that dedicated to this game that they'd spend that much time, only to fail. Fuck. That is teamwork, that is loyalty...that is called being ob-fucking-sessed.

Has it really come to this? Are we to sacrifice our health just to fufill some cyber-seduction fantasy of gold and quests and dancing little elves? I mean, c'mon! I'm a person who kind of LIKES being outside and interacting with people facetoface on occassion - if not more often. Can't you guys make it a little easier? But then again, I'm a casual gamer (at best). I don't represent the population I used to participate in. Now, I'm just past-tense, a side-liner watching the games he used to play. I'd get back in! ...If I didn't think it would suck up my existence.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I need a Life

It's almost like there's a joke coming, but the laugh feels too forced to be anything other than fear in masquerade. What we need and want are two seperate things connected by a commonality of desire. So in the end, when someone asks you a question about possession, simply tell them, "I'm desirous."

You want the house/car/techno-gadget-toy/plastic-enhanced woman. You need love/food/clothing/shelter/something to do with your life. All of it is just a desire and only half of these are really necessary for survival. Bare minimums can keep out the complications of extraneous belongings.

These are the times when I want to quit being an emotional pack-rat, sell off these old memories and fantasies; the woman with her twirling hands and dark hair, the classic Californian in bright blonde, the red-head you met at a club, lots of over-stated intentions which never materialized except in discarded outlines, being a nice guy to a funny guy to something else entirely guy, and all those smiles in your direction going home with other men.

My new motto is an old Beatle's song: I'm so tired. And my new slogan is I need a life.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Let's Talk about Conversation

I've been getting into a lot of weird conversations lately, and something that's always been bugging me about them is: why are people so bad at it?

Take last night for instance. I'm on the phone with a girl - we'll call her CLT - and she's been responding to me about a lot of the Craigslist ads that I've been posting the last few weeks. It was actually our first "live" conversation, since most of the time we've just been e-mailing each other.

But she really sucks at talking. In fact, she wasn't even that good in textual form. How so? She forgets the things she said five minutes ago, constantly gets distracted by her hands that she "claims" I have been making move, and has admitted she has no idea why she's even talking to me, yet can't help but keep on talking/insulting me.

I don't mind the insults so much, since that's kinda our shtick it seems. But is this chick five years old? She can't remember if she said how old she was/where she goes to school/her hobbies? It'd be funny if it wasn't for the fact that I found out she's 21.

Sorry for the mysogyny, but, I've learned to expect/accept less-than-intelligence from most women I encounter, but there are still limits. If a tween came up to me and started pulling that kinda shit, it'd make sense. When someone who's supposed to be an "adult" starts doing it...I laugh outside and cry inside.

What's happened to people nowadays that they can't relate anymore?

Nonetheless, I enjoy the conversation because she's so ridiculous. I wrote down some good lines:

1. I'm only a little sober, but that doesn't mean I'm drunk.
2. Seriously, I can't sleep with a dog on my legs.
3. Stop making my hands move all weird.
4. I like to put down the phone, get myself in a comfortable position and go to sleep...but I forget that people can hear me snore.
5. Do you think I should go pee? I'm too lazy.

I wish I could make these things up.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Is this really my life?

I don't usually post up other people's messages to me, but in this case I must needs make an exception. Here's the start:

"Hi honey! I advise you to surrender imediately or I'll have to use a pick up line.

My mother read your profile page and is interested in dating you. Sorry, she's not into one night stands.

She's tired of the bar scene and would like to meet someone straightforward, not a player. She also wants to meet someone in order to share new things. She'd try anything once! I think you'll like her a lot. She's outgoing and gorgeous. Don't trust me, ask her for a pic.

I hope you'll respond! Just please don't reply directly to this message, this is my account and I don't want to see anything that will scar me for life ;-) Instead, send your reply to her mail address at [blanked out for legal reasons]

Thank you!"

I got this one on myspace. Now, I know what you're thinking: total fucking scam. Right? Well I e-mailed her "mom" anyways, and, if you can believe it, got a response! Here it is:

"Hello ! So how are things? I cant believe you actually you wrote back! LoL I wasn't sure if you would be into it but I am glad I did now ;) I'm [blank] btw.

So here's my story... I'm forty something and I am the mother of 2 girls. One is in her 20's and the other late teens. They are the light of my life, all three of us are best friends! Sometimes I get in trouble though, they both get pissed at me cause sometimes guys that they bring home end up flirting with me. Actually they have gotten used to it and just laugh about it now. Many times they will warn their boyfriend that I am a "MILF" lol.. what a funny phrase that is.

Anyways I have been single for some time now and I've decided (ok, ok my daughters are kinda pushing me into it too lol) to go out and look for some boy toys (and hopefully come up with a real man eventually). lol. Sounds so nice to say it. I was in a miserable relationship for way too long, and now it is my turn to have some fun. I figure, I am still young and have alot to offer!

I have my page my youngest helped me make that you can check out so that you can decide if I am 'MILF' enough for you (LOL). [A link to her website that I took out for obvious legal reasons] I had a blast taking those pics, and believe it or not, some of them were taken from my oldest. Like I said she is in-cahoots with me in my quest. I guess her point is to get my attention away from her boyfriends, so shes trying to get me to meet my own. :)

Well, let me know what you think. I am a very busy but when I do get a chance to have a good time, it really turns out being a "GOOD TIME!".

So take care, and hope to hear from you soon...

[blank] "No one can be" [blank]"

Can you say WHATTHEFUCK? I wish I could give you her name so that the nickname she used makes sense, but I don't want to get in trouble someday. The website link she sent me has a bunch of photos of her, mostly naked and playing with herself. AND SHE SAYS THAT SHE HAD HER DAUGHTER TAKE SOME OF THEM. I mean, geebus p cryst - that's one way to get some mother-daughter bonding, I guess.

Obviously I'm totally going to take advantage of this. Every guy in the universe has wanted a hot older woman to take an interest in him and give him the best experience for sex you could ask for. Seriously, it's like being picked to study under a master in martial-arts - or something like that.

But the big question tossing around in my head is: is this really my life? How the fuck do random things like this keep happening to me? I mean, I can remember the days/weeks/months/even years of sitting at home playing video games, reading trashy fantasy novels, and watching soft-core porn on cinemax.

This is only one of a long series of too-random things going on with me right now. I mean, the Stripper, open-mic fan fanatics, not-yet-gone memories of me and Miss So&So, working with models for the book, the studio-gigs, writing late in to the night, and whole of host of small, hilarious, and sometimes forgetable interactions.

I should start bringing my recording device with me more often, because this shit is starting to get priceless.

Monday, August 4, 2008

The Sigh of a Long Suffering Almost-Boyfriend

I'll catch you if you stumble
I'll pick you up if you fall
if you just quit, then what can I do
except watch?