Sunday, June 8, 2008

More Music and Lyrics

We've all had one of those long lonely drives. Late at night and you're not really tired but just quiet - introspective. It's one of the best times for thinking about stuff, deep stuff. Like: why is it nobody ever looks at each other while they're driving, except for a peremptory glance as you pull alongside at a stop-light? Or: what's the reason for those signs warning you about an animal crossing nearby? If Bambi wants to commit suicide, shouldn't we respect his anti-Disney wishes and just let 'em end it all?

I was listening to The Decemberists' song, Red Right Ankle, and a piece of the lyrics caught me by surprise. Here's the part:

This is the story of the boys who loved you
Who love you now and loved you then
And some were sweet, some were cold and snuffed you
And some just laid around in bed.

Some had crumbled you straight to your knees
Did it cruel, did it tenderly
Some had crawled their way into your heart
To rend your ventricles apart
This is the story of the boys who loved you
This is the story of your red right ankle.

And while listening to that song, I wondered: am I one of those boys? Have I ever broken hearts or cruelly ruined a lover? In the big stage of someone else's life, did I ever play a cameo-role like that?

A part of me wants to - even the ugly, mean stuff - but another part of me can't stand being past-tense in anyone's existence. Who wants to go from somebody someone knows to someone that somebody knew? (To paraphrase Henry Rollins.) I mean, where's the closure? Where's the satisfaction of having come, gone, and done a good job of it too?

I've given up on EVER having closure. It seems like, in reality, Life is always more complicated-complex than a single instance that seals one experience for you to transition to the next. But, I still need some sort of completeness to make it easier for me. What's a guy to do?

Music and Lyrics. (Not the movie.) Notice the connections between your life and another's. See Life reflecting Art, or Art imitating Life...and so on. I feel a lot better knowing my current situation has happened before to someone else I've never met, never known, but still, somehow, connected to because they and I can say that, sometimes, there will ALWAYS be this thing in the world which isn't much more than unlucky coincidence. It's called sadness.

So to the lady heart-breakers out there, this one's for you.

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