Thursday, May 8, 2008

Chocolate-Vanilla Theory

I was talking to an acquaintance of mine at this joint called, The Cafe International. He was really drunk, and started pointing out all the girls who had come in. We both noticed an unusual amount of blondes and brunettes - and in a weird paired symmetry. Then he turns and says to me, "it's the Chocolate-Vanilla Theory, man!"

Yes. The Chocolate-Vanilla Theory (patented, by the way.)

When you stop to think about it though, you'll start to notice it everywhere.

Remember Betty and Veronica?

What is this phenomenon? And how did I not see it before? Next time you're out and about, look around. You'll see exactly what I mean. It's this unexplainable tendecy for people of light hair and dark hair to hang around in groups equally proportioned to their population.

It's even cross-species.

Maybe it has something to do with the whole Yin-Yang concept?

Was the secret to life, the universe, and everything merely a color-balance ratio? And if so, can all nature's mysteries then be solved with just a little bleach or hair dye?

Think what this'll do to the beauty products industry. Soon people will be at the whim of L'Oreal and Garnier. They'll become a global power with the ability to command the forces of life itself, rationing the supply of hair products until the population explodes in a fury of unrestrained cosmetic indulgence, producing terror, chaos! - and badly colored roots.

Or, maybe it's just a random thing. Maybe I'm making too big a deal out of this...

...Yeah. Right.

3 footnotes:

mary said...

my best friend happens to be blonde.
I think you're onto something?
ps-where do gingers fit in?

samantha ann said...

no i am going to be looking around!!


samantha ann said...